The Practice opening- Icedcoffeeislife

Polio is an aggressive, frightening disease that has been walking the Earth since the early part of the 20th century. To be able to eradicate polio, we are going to have to start by helping the world as a whole. In larger, more developed countries are not a large outbreaks; but in smaller, less developed, countries there is still a large amount of breakouts. In Nigeria, much violence has broken out due to the debate over the polio vaccine. The government has not done a lot to stop the violence towards the health care workers administering the vaccine.

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1 Response to The Practice opening- Icedcoffeeislife

  1. davidbdale says:

    Polio is an aggressive, frightening disease that has been walking the Earth since the early part of the 20th century.

    Interesting, Iced. “Walking the Earth” is odd, but OK. Let’s see where this goes.

    To be able to eradicate polio, we are going to have to start by helping the world as a whole.

    I’m not sure what your first sentence has to do with the second, but apparently its aggressiveness makes polio hard to defeat. Grammar Note: “to be able to” adds nothing to most sentences. You mean: “To defeat polio, . . . .”

    In larger, more developed countries are not a large outbreaks; but in smaller, less developed, countries there is still a large amount of breakouts.

    I’ve lost your train of thought here. We’re going to need a global effort, so large or small, many or few, we need all countries to control their outbreaks, right?

    In Nigeria, much violence has broken out due to the debate over the polio vaccine.

    What? Is Nigeria one of the large countries with few cases? Small country with many? What’s the nature of the debate? Why would a debate about a vaccine get violent?

    The government has not done a lot to stop the violence towards the health care workers administering the vaccine.

    Whoa! That was unexpected.

    You really need to focus on a main idea when you have a 100-word budget, IcedCoffee. Yours should be that Nigeria needs to find a way to overcome resistance to its vaccination program or risk becoming a country where cases grow out-of-control and endanger the global eradication effort.

    Your grade is at Canvas, Iced. You have options.
    1. If you’re satisfied with your grade, you don’t have to do anything.
    2. If you’re satisfied with your grade, but you appreciate the feedback, leave me a Reply.
    3. If you want a better grade, you have one week to revise and put this post into Regrade Please.

    Like

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