Enough About You-rowanstudent24

Original

Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.

Revised

Money plays a big role in our society but not much gets done without it. Money is valuable in many different ways, even when it is not physically visible. In today’s society we must have faith in the government and in the banking system that our money is being handled properly; if not then we would have to hide our money under the mattress or around the house. It is unknown to me of what happens in banks , or how they take care of money. A thought in my mind was that money was simple; we either have it or we don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. Money is not physically seen being transferred. When someone gets paid, cash is not handed out, there is no physical check received, the money is all directly transferred into a person’s bank account, and the person must trust that they received more money.

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1 Response to Enough About You-rowanstudent24

  1. davidbdale says:

    This is good work, RowanStudent. You’ve eliminated the 2nd person thoroughly. I wonder if these are sentences you would choose to write yourself if you were starting from scratch. They depend very heavily on the passive voice. As a result, they’re pretty awkward. If you’d like to revise, I’d love to see the results. If you want help with the difference between passive and active, and the advantages of the latter, I’d be happy to help with that too.

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