Visual Rewrite-CompIIstudent

0:01. The ad starts with a view of a computer screen that shows two pixalated skeletons who are embracing and kissing each other. The rest of the screen is black.

003. The shot changes to a crowd of people outdoors watching this monitor, pretty large in size. Some are taking pictures and recording the monitor. It is unclear why they are watching this, it seems to be a nice warm day, green on the plants around them. From the sides of the shot, it appears to be in an urban area.

0:04. We see a white man in a blue-ish shirt peering his head towards the monitor, either to get a better look or to try and figure out what he’s watching. A woman in a pink shirt watches next to him. Other people around him watch, their faces blurred out.

0:05. Shot goes back to the monitor and we see the skeletons have walked away from each other. The surrounding area remains the same.

0:06. A woman emerges from behind the screen and shows that she was one of the skeletons. She has blonde hair and a plaid shirt.

0:07. Another woman appears as the other skeleton on the other side of the screen. She has short brown hair.

0:08. The shot cuts back to the crowd. The focus is on the woman in the crowd with a pink shirt. She looks happily surprised to see the two women.

0:09- 0:10. Back onstage, the two women kiss again in front of a now completely black monitor.

0:11-0:12. Two skeletons on the monitor dancing. Zoom out to see the sun setting behind the monitor.

0:13. On one side, one skeleton appears as a blackwoman.

0:14. On the other side, an asian man appears. They embrace in front of the audience, the audience cheers.

0:16-0:20. Two smaller skeletons are on the screen, they reveal themselves as two young girls.

0:21. As the stand side by side, a message appears in white words on the black screen, “Love has no disability.

0:23. The man and woman stand together, the message says “love has no race.”

0:25. The two women stand together, the message says “love has no gender.” By now it is obvious that this ad is trying to show how all inclusive love is a thing that should be celabrated. Judging by all the audience reactions, it appears that they agree.

0:27-0:30. The camera is in front of the crowd. One message is on the screen. “Love has no labels.” A second message appears, “rethink bias at”

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2 Responses to Visual Rewrite-CompIIstudent

  1. davidbdale says:

    Comp2Student, because you did not request Feedback, I will provide you a quick provisional grade and about 15 minutes worth of time to suggest ways you should revise your work to improve that grade.

    The next step would be for you to respond to that feedback. Then make revisions to this post and request a Regrade. If you wish further feedback on this post, you will have to ask specific questions.


  2. davidbdale says:

    Comp2, I make it a practice NOT to watch the videos you’re describing to me so that I can evaluate how well or how poorly I am able to visualize what you’re watching. Something told me there was more to say about the first 3 seconds of your video, so I watched until the clock said 0:03.

    Here’s what you didn’t mention.
    On a dark gray background we see the highly pixelated images of two skeletons embracing and kissing. We can tell this from their forward-facing images, the suggestion that the ghostly arm of one is wrapped around the shoulders of the other, and the severe closeness of their faces. They actually seem to overlap, so maybe one is partially shielded by the other.

    Considering how very pixelated they are, it’s surprising we recognize them as humans at all, or that we can tell what they’re doing. Maybe that’s part of the point—that we recognize ourselves from very small evidence. If we had to say, we’d suspect that the left skeleton might be female, but it’s only because of what looks like long hair down “her” back and “her” slightly shorter stature. Maybe that’s part of the point too—that we try to make judgments about gender from subtle clues.

    It’s hard to say what this video IS. Odds are it’s NOT an advertisement for a product. It could be a promotion for a movie or a game with a futuristic theme. In fact, the “see-through” nature of the images reminds us of the airport security cameras in “Total Recall” that show x-ray images of passengers in real time as they walk through the checkpoint. Music would play a large part in setting the tone for this image, but we’re concentrating on the visuals only, so we’ll have to guess.

    The image is not static. The characters are engaged in the kissing for about a good two seconds. The camera pans up during that time, enough to see the “female,” if that’s what she is, pull away from the “male,” as if the kiss has ended. When she does, the lower jaw of the male drops. We think that means his mouth is opening slightly. The effect is a little jarring because the space between his jaws looks like a smile. Good kiss.

    His mouth closes again at the 0:03 mark, and he moves closer to her again, emphasizing that we are watching two lovers kissing in real time as it happens, but very de-personalized.

    Not every second requires that much language, Comp2, but the setup for this video appears to be very important, and the combination of Visual description and Rhetorical analysis is the point of the assignment.

    I’ve used up my time. See your grade on Canvas. Follow the procedure in the first Reply.


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