Original Paragraph

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

Revised Paragraph:

In Vancouver, a huge problem rose when heroin addicts were committing crimes simply to fuel their addiction. The “free heroin for addicts” is doing everything they can to stop these addictions by giving addicts free heroin in the cleanest way possible. The problem is the large crime rate due to the addictions. Crimes to fuel their addiction include breaking and entering and stealing. Addicts see no limit in how far they will go for these drugs. The addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives without these drugs which is obvious. Daily activities include jobs, interactions and relationships which become hard to maintain because of drug usage. By the program providing the drug, addicts will be off of the streets, preventing them from committing minor street crimes. However, it doesn’t ween addicts off heroin. The program helps in keeping these users out of the hospital, which is helpful because helping people who cannot afford their hospital bills is pointless for the employees. The program will fix the city, but not the addiction these people face.