21* Class MON APR 05

Writing Advice

Just Passed Scenic Views

The problem with this sign should be obvious, but just to be sure, let’s talk about the serious mistake it makes.


Any writer making the same mistake would have to return her reader’s attention back to the material he’s already read and analyzed, draw his attention to things he might have missed, prepare him after the fact to receive information in the most effective way, and talk him out of conclusions he’s already drawn. All because she failed to put the sign AHEAD OF THE SCENIC VIEWS instead of behind them.

Version 1.
This paragraph makes the “Just Passed Scenic Views” mistake:

In a recent poll, 51% of Americans estimated that most or some of the food they eat is genetically modified (or contains GMOs) while the rest claimed that they eat “no GMOs” or “not too much.” Further, 65% of those who knowingly eat a fair amount of GMO food claim to have read a lot about genetically modified foods, while a whopping 75% of GMO-abstainers admit they have read nothing about these foods. You would think these results would be the other way around if modified organisms were as terrible as some perceive them to be. Instead, the poll revealed that most of the people who are consuming GMOs have gathered a lot of information on them, while 75% of the people who stay away from these foods admitted to reading absolutely nothing about them.

Version 2.
This paragraph tells readers to watch for “Scenic Views Ahead”:

Evidence shows that adults who are educated about genetically-modified foods (GMOs) accept their safety and consume them without hesitation. In a 2018 Pew Center Research Poll, 65% of respondents who knowingly eat a fair amount of GMO food report that they have read a lot about GMOs and feel well-informed. Those who admit ignorance about GMOs, on the other hand, fear and avoid them. Among GMO-abstainers, many of whom admit to having “health concerns” about the products, a whopping 75% admit they have read nothing about genetic modification or GMO foods.

In-Class Task

As part of your Notes for today, take a few minutes to describe the improvements made to Version 1.

Writing Center Help when you need it.

Located in the Campbell Library but currently operating virtually, the Writing Center offers help to students from experienced tutors eager to assist their peers by appointment.

Rowan Writing Center tutors provide opportunities that enable student writers to discover and develop effective writing and composing practices. We offer a space where writers of many genres can find support at any stage of the writing process.  From brainstorming ideas, organizing them, revising drafts and checking citations, the RWC and its tutors provide a comfortable environment for students to improve and succeed.

Link to the Rowan Writing Center website. Register here, “meet the tutors,” and make an appointment.

Prepping for the Portfolio

White Paper—Annotated Bibliography

Until now, your White Paper has served as the repository for sources you found to support your Definition, Causal, and Rebuttal Arguments. As such, it should contain roughly 15 sources, many of them academic.

It should also contain Purposeful Summaries of those sources, Practice Openings, maybe a section called “Current State of my Research,” or “What I’m Still Looking For,” random notes about searches you’ve conducted, and for each source you’ve consulted, sections called “Background,” and “How I Will Use it.”

But it probably doesn’t. You’ve been busy.

As you construct your Portfolio, you’ll be adapting the contents of your White Paper into an Annotated Bibliography. The more complete your White Paper is, the easier you’ll find this process.

Let’s look ahead to the transition from a working document to the Annotated Bibliography you’ll submit as part of your Portfolio.


Annotated Bibliography


20 Responses to 21* Class MON APR 05

  1. oaktree1234 says:

    10/10 Notes

    Writing advice:
    “just passed scenic views”- should tell reader what your proving before hand

    In class task: version 1 vs version 2
    Version 1 gives the statistics before explaining what they’re trying to prove. In version two, the writer addresses what is being proved right off the bat and follows with evidence.

    -check out writing center for extra feedback from students

    White paper: have 10-12 sources
    references: sources you’ve quoted
    annotated bibliography: every source you’ve consulted
    add “how i used it”
    due November 17th


  2. runnerd4 says:

    Writing help
    Make sure not to make the just passed scenic views mistake. Make a point and then layout evidence. Make your paragraph into a “Scenic views ahead” paragraph

    In-class exercise
    Version 1 had made the mistake of “Just passed scenic views”. Version 2 fixed that problem by changing it to a “scenic views ahead” paragraph. The writer laid out the idea and then gave their evidence. Laying out their idea first prepares the readers to understand the evidence that they are going to receive. If we do not introduce the reader to the topic, they could be very confused and could even skip through the section to try to understand the point of the evidence.

    Writing center
    Can make an appointment for tutors. Can help with my writing pieces.

    Annotated Bibliography
    Need at least 8 academic sources in annotated bibliography
    adapted from white paper. Instead of saying what I am going to use the info for, say what I did use it for. Annotated Bibliography is a separate document
    For the annotated bibliography, I can cite the sources that I did not even cite in my paper. I can show where I got my train of thought from.
    1. citation
    2. background
    3. how I used it
    10-15 sources
    Can add onto the bibliography after I edit my essays


  3. clementine102 says:

    – My Notes –
    – The improvements made by Version 1 is that they set up the information so that the readers would know what data they are reading before they even read the data. They give a background and purpose to their data instead of throwing it at us.
    – Writing Center –
    – Campbell Library offers to help students connect with eager tutors to assist us
    – Annotated Bibliography –
    – Adapted from our White Paper
    – Number the sources
    – Give a background and “How I Used It” description for each source
    – Have 10-15 sources


  4. rowanstudent24 says:

    11/10 Notes:
    – In class task: The second version is more straight to the point and it presents information and statistics in the right order so that it’s pretty clear by the end of the paragraph. The first version has a lot of statistics and information but it’s not super clear what the main point is and it doesn’t really flow.
    – Writing center is definitely something to check out for help with essay rewrites.
    – Annotated Bib: Include a link to the article, you don’t have to cite it in the paper if it’s in your annotated bib, it might’ve been useful just for background info. The sources have to be numbered, they don’t have to be in alphabetical order, you need at least 10 sources, no more than 15, 8 of them should be academic sources.


  5. cardinal7218 says:

    -We need to tell our readers what to expect so our evidence is deployed at the right time. “Scenic views ahead”
    -Version 2 is better than version 1 because it states a claim and then offers evidence to prove it. It’s important to do that so the reader understands why each piece of evidence is offered. If the reader looks at the evidence without having a reason for it, the writing is very confusing.

    -The Writing Center is a great resource for help

    -The annotated bibliography is adapted from your white paper
    -Say how you used a source and what information was important from it
    -Even sources you didn’t use should be in the annotated bibliography because they show the background information you have


  6. Nimadhury says:

    Scenic Views: state the intentions of your writing at the beginning of your argument, before you begin backing up your claim. Reader will then know what they’re looking for.

    It Is better to alert readers ahead of the “arguments” that they are about to face because doing so this way allows for ideas to and argument to better flow. If you give out information to back up your claim and then take state your argument it is cumbersome and leaves the reader confused.

    Use writing center

    Annotative Bibliography: due Nov 17
    Adapted from white paper
    Cap at 15 sources
    Describe how you used a source as well


  7. SmilingDogTheProfWants says:

    11/10 Notes:
    Falling behind or need some help? The writing center can help, but so could the professor if you ask for feedback on assignments.
    Covered the importance of establishing what the viewer is about to see rather than what they just saw because they might not be looking for the things you expect them to have picked up. So in general, inform the reader what you’re about to cover instead of telling them what they should have seen.
    The white paper’s sources need to be explained and summarized to both establish your points you plan on writing about and to help understand the importance of the part you plan on taking out of it.


  8. profs22 says:

    Tell the reader ahead of time what they are looking for instead of after or they will miss it.

    Version two is better than version one because it tells the reader the claim before they explain with evidence. If you explain something and then make a claim its going to be very confusing for the reader.

    Writing center

    Annotative bibliography white paper
    Incorporate how the source is used
    At least 10 sources
    Backround “how i used it”
    Due nov 17


  9. 612119d says:

    I feel version 2 was more direct and to the point which made it and easier read. I pulled I out the main idea very early in papper 2.


  10. comicdub says:

    11/10/20 Notes:
    – Just passed scenic views is a bad sign because it should have been before the views not once you already passed it
    – This relates to argumentative writing because you should let the reader know the argument is important instead of reading the whole argument then telling the reader it is important
    – This doesn’t mean summaries are not good to use, they should only be used though if the article is long enough to require a summary at the end as a refresher for the reader
    – One of the improvements made was that the 51% of Americans eat mostly genetically modified food was removed because this is useless to the overall paragraph.
    – Another improvement was that the claim was moved from the last line of the paragraph to the first, so the reader knows what the writer is trying to claim upfront and doesn’t have to go back to read the statistics again just to get an understanding of why they are important
    – Another improvement is that the “You would think these…” part was removed
    – The Writing Center is another free option to help you with your writing when you need it
    – Annotated Bibliography should have at least 10 sources but no more than 15
    – Sources in the Annotated Bibliography should be everything you used and found helpful, even if you never cited it in your writing
    – Go off of example Annotated Bibliography provided by professor


  11. BabyGoat says:

    In class 11/10

    Paragraphs: Version 2 improves by stating clear information at the right time. Version 1 seemed to be scrambled, which confused the reader. Also, Version 2 uses better wording that gets straight to the point.

    Writing center – extra feedback from trustworthy students
    White paper – have 10-12 sources and references
    Annotated bibliography – every source you’ve consulted
    add “how i used it” due November 17th


  12. pardonmyfrench13 says:

    Class Notes 11/10
    Scenic Views: Why the author was writing the paragraph was now stated at the beginning instead of the end. Reader now knows what to look for much like the scenic sign if it would have been before the views. The numbers aren’t just put there in a confusing, staggering order. They now make sense and there is no going back and forth a couple times to try and understand what the intention is.
    Writing center for help!!
    Annotated Bib:
    • Annotated Bibliography taken from white paper
    • State how source was used & how it was helpful
    • Sources even if not used should be cited because shows background info and relevant because they were consulted
    • No more than 15 sources
    • Due Nov 17


  13. dayzur says:


    -Why put a sign after you pass a destination instead of before it?
    -We simply ignore the information given because we don’t know why it’s there or what its purpose is
    -The first paragraph is a complete mess. The information is the first thing thrown at us and we dont know why or what it is for.
    -The second paragraph starts off strong and tells us exactly what is being focused on and info on that, and then a view from the other side with info. All while being shorter and clearer than the first.
    -Available tutoring options if needed
    -Articles can be used but not cited, you don’t have to reference all articles used.
    -Some articles may just help with the topic and understanding but may not work their way into the paper
    -annotated bibliography
    -10 to 15 sources, no higher than 15, no less than 10
    -Each source should have
    1. citation (not just a link, an actual citation)
    2. background
    3. how it was used


  14. sonnypetro29 says:

    My notes 11/10/2020

    -What’s wrong with this road sign- why would you put a sign past something you just missed?
    -In class exercise- in the second version the writer doesn’t bore you and confuse you with words the writer gets right to the point and is very clear on the information. It is laid out well enough for you to understand.
    -Writing center website
    -Prepping for the portfolio
    – 10-15 sources make sure they are not from the same source.
    – In class exercise on un-corrected sources.


  15. l8tersk8ter says:

    Just Passed Scenic Views
    – After views
    – Compare to writing: bad timing, will have to “reread”
    – Difference in Versions: Version 1 throws out a bunch of data without any lead in about their significance, and then the point is made at the end of the paragraph / Version 2 introduces the claim and then supports with the data, then makes the second part of the claim and follows with that supporting evidence, this second paragraph is organized to flow and makes clear to the reader what the information they are including is relevant towards
    Writing Center
    – Utilize if you see fit, available by appointment
    Annotated Bibliography
    – Information adapted from white paper
    – Bibliographical citation (name of author, link, title, etc.)
    – Background
    – How I used it (how source was utilized in paper, specific)
    – 10-15 academic sources
    – Consult analysis of errors and revised version prior to posting


  16. gooferious says:

    11/10/2020 Notes:
    – Scenic view example: why put a sign after what should have been viewed
    – Relates to writing because, even if one presents a good argument if it wasn’t hinted at then audience was not prepared for it (could skim past it)
    – When writing paragraphs, introduce why argument is relevant and then provide examples/proof
    – Version 2 of the GMO paragraph is superior to Version 1 because, in V2 the paragraph begins with a statement that can be proved/further explained with data. V1 gives the data first and then gives the statement afterward, this proves to be confusing as readers don’t have any insight once they first begin reading
    – Annotated Bibliography assignment due Nov. 17


  17. mhmokaysure says:

    Version two improves on version one by more effectively organizing the structure of the argument being presented. By first giving a claim, and then supporting it with evidence, the paragraph avoids the scenic views mistake, instead it more effectively producing a valid argument.

    Use the writing center to your advantage
    schedule virtual meeting or drop off work for review

    Annotated Bibliography should be based off of white paper sources
    State how sources were used
    15 sources, don’t dump 30+
    If you used it differently than how you thought you were going to explain that
    Due November 17th


  18. corinnebuck1219 says:

    •why would u put a sign up after you passed something instead of before
    -let ppl know prior to making point
    -in class task: Version 1 is very statistical with a real main point, while 2 explains the purpose and why and is clear when done reading.
    -writing center
    -make appointment if need help!
    -annotated bibliographies- portfolio
    -10 to 15 sources (do not just give URL)
    -visual rhetoric thursday


  19. shadowswife says:


    Writing Advice:
    – What is wrong with the road sign is that it is telling the passerby that they missed scenic views.
    * It should say “scenic views ahead.”
    * This applies to your argument because you tell your readers what to expect so they can be attentive to what they should see in their writing.
    – The improvements made to the first paragraph reduces how wordy it originally was. In addition, the improved version has a better flow with the information given where it is better tied in and it is not being thrown at you. It is best to say that there are scenic views ahead of time because the reader needs to be attentive to what you want them to see.

    Annotated Bibliography:
    – At most, the bibliography can have up to 15 sources from the white paper, however the minimum amount of sources it can have is 10.
    – At 8 of these sources need to be scholarly sources.
    – The difference between the references and annotated bibliography is that does not the annotated bibliography does not just have the sources that you did not cite in your papers.
    – You need to state the background information behind these sources.
    – Say how you used the sources.


  20. hailthegreat8 says:

    I believe that 2 was more forward and to the point and it was much easier to read
    – The Annotated Bibliography
    – The writing center
    – You need to number your sources
    – The Campbell Library helps students work with tutors
    – You have to learn from your White Paper
    – Need to have at least 10 to 15 sources


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