Treating addicts is not an easy task for doctors, and yet thousands of doctors around the world continue to prescribe opioids to patients. The pharmaceutical industry heavily relies on opioids because it has large profit in the United States, which means that the opioid epidemic can only be stopped is if another drug with the same treatment power as opioids, without the high risk of addiction. Researchers have been looking into the idea of harm reduction using medical cannabis to help with patients manage their opioid cravings. By replacing opioids with another drug like cannabis within the pharmaceutical industry, it would ensure that the industry still profits and that the patients are less likely to have their lives ruins by prescription opioid use. The legalization of medical marijuana in the United States could stop the opioid crisis in its tracks by lowering the number of innocent people killed due to overdose by gradually replacing prescription opioids with medical cannabis and using it as a harm reduction strategy for opioid dependents.
The opioid crisis has been killing tens of thousands of people each year, and yet very little is being done to decrease the damage opioid use causes. Over the past few decades, there has been a changing consensus surrounding drug use. With more technology and resources than ever before, the United States is more than capable of making significant progress with modern medicine prescription. But opioids have been used and abused to decades, and the pharmaceutical industry does not seem to be interested in finding a new drug to replace addictive opioids. The pharmaceutical industry benefits from opioid use, since it is incredibly effective at treating pain and it is widely studied. Researchers have been attempting to test drugs like marijuana and many of these tests hold promising results against the same diseases where opioids are often used. Unfortunately, there is very little funding from the United State’s government to allow researchers to gather more data. If more funding from the government was going to research, then medical marijuana can be considered a realistic option as a type of pain treatment that would replace marijuana in the pharmaceutical industry.
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Counterintuitivity 
You’ve got a couple of pretty good opening sentences here, CC, that could be combined to make a dandy.
—Your first uses “treating addicts” as the compelling situation, but that’s MUCH weaker than the much better “killing tens of thousands of people.”
—Your first uses “continue to prescribe opioids to patients” as if that were obviously a bad thing. It fails to identify opioids as addictive, so the causation loop is unclosed.
—Your second uses “very little is being done to decrease the damage,” without identifying the over-prescription of opioids in the first place as the cause.
COMBINED:
OPIOID ADDICTION HAS KILLED nearly 40,000 Americans every year since 2000, but DOCTORS CONTINUE TO OVER-PRESCRIBE these highly-addictive pain killers.
I’m going to highlight what I think are the essential claims you should work into the most Robust Opening paragraph.
The pharmaceutical industry heavily relies on opioids because it has large profit in the United States, which means that the opioid epidemic can only be stopped is if another drug with the same treatment power as opioids, without the high risk of addiction. Researchers have been looking into the idea of harm reduction using medical cannabis to help with patients manage their opioid cravings. By replacing opioids with another drug like cannabis within the pharmaceutical industry, it would ensure that the industry still profits and that the patients are less likely to have their lives ruins by prescription opioid use. The legalization of medical marijuana in the United States could stop the opioid crisis in its tracks by lowering the number of innocent people killed due to overdose by gradually replacing prescription opioids with medical cannabis and using it as a harm reduction strategy for opioid dependents.
Over the past few decades, there has been a changing consensus surrounding drug use. With more technology and resources than ever before, the United States is more than capable of making significant progress with modern medicine prescription. But opioids have been used and abused to decades, and the pharmaceutical industry does not seem to be interested in finding a new drug to replace addictive opioids. The pharmaceutical industry benefits from opioid use, since it is incredibly effective at treating pain and it is widely studied. Researchers have been attempting to test drugs like marijuana and many of these tests hold promising results against the same diseases where opioids are often used. Unfortunately, there is very little funding from the United State’s government to allow researchers to gather more data. If more funding from the government was going to research, then medical marijuana can be considered a realistic option as a type of pain treatment that would replace
marijuana[you meant replace opioids] in the pharmaceutical industry.LikeLike
The best paragraph would hit those bold points with as few additional words as you can manage, CC. There’s plenty of room left in your 1000 words to spell out a few of the details.
This is nice work. You have a sure hand at telling your story. Take the gloves off.
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thank you for the feedback, professor. I feel like the current topics I’m focusing on are overshadowing my original hypothesis of medicinal marijuana because there is so much information just about the flaws in the pharmaceutical industry and it’s role in the opioid crisis. Do you think it is possible for me to drop my original hypothesis on marijuana? I’m not sure if I want to yet, but I would like to know your thoughts.
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You could drop it if it gets in the way, CC, but be careful not to leave yourself with nothing but a list of gripes about Big Pharma. A Proposal Argument tries to find a way out of a big problem and to recommend a course of action or at the very least a change of mind/heart on a matter of consequence. For now, the promise of a REPLACEMENT for opioids is useful to you as the suggested alternative to a bad situation.
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