Not Because- runnerd4

Original (copied)

1. Coats wasn’t fired because he was using a legal drug, marijuana, for a legitimate purpose for which he had a prescription. He was fired for violating workplace policy.

2. An employer isn’t able to fire a person who has anxiety because they are taking the correct medication to deal with the issue.

3. Employees don’t get fired for going out and having a few beers after work because alcohol is legal, but in Colorado so is marijuana.

4. Coats shouldn’t have been fired because he was trying to treat the pain he endured on a daily basis.

5. It’s not fair to discriminate against him because he was able to ease the pain of his multiple spasms by using marijuana.

6. Coats wasn’t harming anyone at his job because he was smoking marijuana but he was doing so on his own time and not at work.

BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.

7. Omar Gonzalez didn’t penetrate deep into the White House because of the swift actions of Secret Service agents.

8. The Secret Service isn’t being compelled to explain its actions because of the way it  responded to the breach of the White House, but how the breach occurred is under question.

9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson won’t be fired because of her testimony before Congress yesterday. Her incompetence might cost her her job though.

10. Secret Service agents didn’t use deadly force against the intruder because he was carrying a knife with a 4-inch blade.

Revised

  1. Coats was fired for violating a workplace policy, that prohibited marijuana use, even with a prescription with a legitimate reason.
  2. An employer is unable to fire someone with anxiety who is taking the correct medication to help themselves.
  3. Employees in Colorado are able to use marijuana without being fired because it is legal.
  4. Coats was trying to deal with the pain he endured on a daily basis, so he should not have been fired.
  5. It is unfair to discriminate against Coats for being able to use marijuana to ease the pain of his multiple spasms.
  6. Coats was smoking marijuana on his own time and not at work, so he was not harming anyone at his job.
  7. The swift actions of the Secret Service agents made Omar Gonzalez unable to penetrate deep into the White House.
  8. The Secret Service is being compelled to explain its actions for how the breach occurred, but not for the way they responded to the breach.
  9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson may be fired due to her incompetence, not for her testimony today.
  10. Secret Service agents decided not to use deadly force because the knife he was carrying only had a four-inch blade.
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1 Response to Not Because- runnerd4

  1. davidbdale says:

    1. Coats was fired for violating a workplace policy, that prohibited marijuana use, even with a prescription with a legitimate reason.
    —Perfect. Not the only correct version, but among them.

    2. An employer is unable to fire someone with anxiety who is taking the correct medication to help themselves.
    —UNABLE is the wrong adjective here. The employer could do it. There might be repercussions. SOMEONE is singular while THEMSELVES is plural. This needs fixing. There are many methods.

    3. Employees in Colorado are able to use marijuana without being fired because it is legal.
    —What’s ambiguous here is WHAT is legal. Is being fired legal? You cut the beer reference. Put it back.

    4. Coats was trying to deal with the pain he endured on a daily basis, so he should not have been fired.
    —Very nice.

    5. It is unfair to discriminate against Coats for being able to use marijuana to ease the pain of his multiple spasms.
    —Nobody discriminates against Coats for being able to ease his pain, but your sentence says that somebody does and that it’s unfair.

    6. Coats was smoking marijuana on his own time and not at work, so he was not harming anyone at his job.
    —Perfect. Not the only correct version, but among them.

    7. The swift actions of the Secret Service agents made Omar Gonzalez unable to penetrate deep into the White House.
    —Weak verb choice: made unable. Much better would be a robust choice like SWIFT ACTION PREVENTED.

    8. The Secret Service is being compelled to explain its actions for how the breach occurred, but not for the way they responded to the breach.
    —Very nice.

    9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson may be fired due to her incompetence, not for her testimony today.
    —Very nice.

    10. Secret Service agents decided not to use deadly force because the knife he was carrying only had a four-inch blade.
    —Sometimes it’s best to flip the actors. Because Gonzalez was carrying only a four-inch knife, Secret Service agents decided not to use deadly force.

    Like

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