Practice Opening – mrmba1

The anticipated eradication of poliovirus is postponed both by the decrease in attentiveness towards it as well as the arrival of Covid-19. As attention paid towards the polio vaccine has decreased recently in place of attempting to compete and distribute a covid vaccine, the question is no longer whether or not the extermination of polio is possible, it’s when it will be decided to happen. A leading polio vaccine expert, Mohammed Mohammedi, even said that polio is “the easiest disease to get rid of,” it is just a matter of staying attentive and focused on the disease as well as having a cooperative determination to see it eradicated for good.

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1 Response to Practice Opening – mrmba1

  1. davidbdale says:

    The anticipated eradication of poliovirus is postponed both by the decrease in attentiveness towards it as well as the arrival of Covid-19.

    Interesting. Very interesting. “Anticipated” is odd. “Hoped-for” makes sense. But eradication has eluded the world so long that it’s not anticipated by many. Save the phrase “as well as” for special circumstances, MR. Such as when you’ve already used “and”: We ordered burgers and fries, as well as their famous black-and-white milkshake.

    As attention paid towards the polio vaccine has decreased recently in place of attempting to compete and distribute a covid vaccine,

    As good as the opening is, you lose steam right away by repeating the claim almost verbatim.

    the question is no longer whether or not the extermination of polio is possible, it’s when it will be decided to happen.

    Sorry. I don’t get it. That SOUNDS as if you think eradication is inevitable. Maybe that’s your point. As for the second part, you need to introduce someone to make the decision. Passive doesn’t work here. Maybe: “The question is not whether health officials will achieve eradication but when they’ll decide to do it”? Is that what you meant?

    A leading polio vaccine expert, Mohammed Mohammedi, even said that polio is “the easiest disease to get rid of,” it is just a matter of staying attentive and focused on the disease as well as having a cooperative determination to see it eradicated for good.

    Yeah. OK. That’s consistent. So here’s my advice. The COVID virus HAS CAUSED a distraction from polio eradication efforts. That’s not TWO factors. It’s one: DISTRACTION. If your opening sentence makes that point, the logic is easier to follow.

    Punctuation Note: You’ve written a run-on. Fixed: . . . that polio is “the easiest disease to get rid of.” It’s just a matter . . . .

    Your grade is at Canvas, MrMBA. You have options.
    1. If you’re satisfied with your grade, you don’t have to do anything.
    2. If you’re satisfied with your grade, but you appreciate the feedback, leave me a Reply.
    3. If you want a better grade, you have one week to revise and put this post into Regrade Please.

    Like

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