Robust Verbs-profs22

Original:There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

1.There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

Revised: Heroin addicts turn into criminals when it comes down to supporting there habits.

2.The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

Revised: Vancouver’s “free heroin for addicts” is putting a stop to the addicts.

3.The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives.

Revised: *delete both sentences

4.Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using.

Revised: *delete sentence

5.By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug.

Revised: Heroin users will do anything to get their hands on the drug.

6.The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing.

Revised: *combine with previous sentence: Such as breaking and entering and stealing.

7.There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

Revised:*delete sentence (repetitive)

8.The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin.

9. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to.

Revised:*combine both sentences: This program won’t help ween these addicts off using heroin, but it saves the city from rising crime rates.

10.By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes.

11.This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.

Revised:*combine both sentences:Providing heroin to addicts will keep them off the streets, reducing crime, and keep users out of the hospital.

12.It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.

Revised: *delete sentence

13.This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible.

Revised: The “free heroin for addicts” program gives users the drug in a clean and safe way.

14.This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people

Revised: The program will fix the city, but not the addiction.

Revised paragraph: Heroin addicts turn into criminals when it comes down to supporting there habits. Vancouver’s “free heroin for addicts” is putting a stop to users. Heroin users will do anything to get their hands on the drug, such as breaking and entering and stealing. This program won’t help ween these addicts off using heroin, but it saves the city from rising crime rates. Providing heroin to addicts will keep them off the streets, reducing crime, and keep users out of the hospital. The “free heroin for addicts” program gives users the drug in a clean and safe way. This program will fix the city, but not the addiction.

This entry was posted in profs22, Robust Verbs. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s