Practice Opening—compiistudent

How would eradication of something work? To me this is such an interesting concept because I have not heard of something being eradicated in my lifetime. However we have to acknowledge that it has happened before. Small pox ravaged the globe, and it was eradicated. Polio affected millions for a large part of the 20th century, and now it is only prominentely located in some parts of the world. Now we have a new pandemic on our hands with Covid-19. Scientists created a vaccine in almost absurdly fast time and according to top health officials, all Americans who want the vaccine will have it by springtime. So does that mean covid will be eradicated then? No, because there is still the rest of the world who needs it.

This entry was posted in compiistudent, Practice Opening 21. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Practice Opening—compiistudent

  1. davidbdale says:

    Two technical matters first, Comp2.
    1. Name your work with both the assignment name and your username. For you, that’s Practice Opening—compiistudent. I have fixed that problem.
    2. Put your work into the categories for the assignment and your username. I have fixed that problem.

    Like

  2. davidbdale says:

    How would eradication of something work?

    I’m not in favor of rhetorical questions, C2. They give your reader an open opportunity to answer wrong. But this one seems pretty safe. Make it pay off, though.

    To me this is such an interesting concept because I have not heard of something being eradicated in my lifetime.

    Nope. You didn’t. Your budget is 100 words. You’ve spent 25 and haven’t made a serious claim yet.

    However we have to acknowledge that it has happened before.

    Useful.

    Small pox ravaged the globe, and it was eradicated.

    Also useful. But what did we need the first two sentences for?

    Polio affected millions for a large part of the 20th century, and now it is only prominentely located in some parts of the world.

    Now I’m even more convinced that you should cut the first two sentences.

    NEW START: Small pox ravaged the globe, [killing millions of kids] and it was eradicated. Polio [paralyzed] millions [of kids] for a large part of the 20th century, and now it is found in just a handful of countries.

    AT THIS POINT I want to mention that the assignment was to write a Practice Opening about Polio, not about the new COVID virus, but I’ll let you decide how you want to proceed now that you’ve made the choice. Either one will be instructive.

    Now we have a new pandemic on our hands with Covid-19.

    OK so far. You’ve set the stage for us to expect success in defeating the new threat.

    Scientists created a vaccine in almost absurdly fast time and, according to top health officials, all Americans who want the vaccine will have it by springtime.

    Sounds good. Why am I waiting for the other shoe to drop?

    So does that mean COVID will be eradicated then?

    Word processing programs are happier with the ALL CAPS version of the name. Again. Avoid rhetorical questions until you get your license.

    No, because there is still the rest of the world who needs it.

    Ohhhh!. OK. I’m glad you cut the first two sentences because you’re going to need more words to develop this idea a bit. Several ways you could go with that one. Greedy America? America leads the world to global eradication? Developed countries gobble up all the doses while the rest of the world suffers? I’m looking forward to another draft.

    Your grade is at Canvas, CompIIStudent. You have options.
    1. If you’re satisfied with your grade, you don’t have to do anything.
    2. If you’re satisfied with your grade, but you appreciate the feedback, leave me a Reply.
    3. If you want a better grade, you have one week to revise and put this post into Regrade Please.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s