24 Class MON APR 22

Class Activities

Revision Examples

Taking helmets out of football is a very counterintuitive idea itself.

Taking helmets out of football is counterintuitive.

It may seem as if this will hurt the players, but in fact it will help protect the players.

Playing unprotected will help players, not hurt them. 

No helmets will make keep players from taking risky, hard hits, and cause them to have more caution when playing the game.

Playing bareheaded will keep players from tackling head-first, sparing them from head, neck, and brain injuries.

They all will be protected from severe concussions, spinal cord injuries, and developing CTE later in life.

They will be protected from severe concussions, spinal cord injuries, and late-developing CTEs.

There is however, some opposition to this counterintuitive idea.

There is, however, some opposition to this counterintuitive idea.

Many people feel as if there would be no change to the amount of head injuries sustained in a football game.

Many people feel there would be no reduction to the number of head injuries sustained in a football game.

They feel as if players will still hit hard, and make risky plays.

They feel players will still hit hard and make risky plays.

Today football helmets are evolving more and more everyday.

Football helmets are evolving.

Risk compensation is when protective equipment prompts individuals to act more aggressively which increases the potential for injury.

“Risk compensation” is the tendency of players to risk injury through reckless play when equipment upgrades make them feel invulnerable.

If you give an individual better protective equipment, they are going to have an increase in aggression, causing more injuries.

More-protective equipment encourages reckless play, causing more injuries.

Helmets may have been upgraded, and made to absorb hits, but they still do the same damage.

Today’s helmets absorb more hits, but players’ brains suffer the same damage.

End-of-Semester Tasks

 

22 Responses to 24 Class MON APR 22

  1. mysterylimbo says:

    For my research essay, I will be examining how one state has a higher murder rate compared to the neighboring state, which has considerably less strict gun laws. With recent gun debates, states have become more stern towards gun reform. Cities such as Chicago, Illinois despite having strict gun laws their gun murder rate is the highest nationwide.

    • davidbdale says:

      A good draft, Limbo. Some notes.

      For my research essay, I will be examining how one state has a higher murder rate compared to the neighboring state, which has considerably less strict gun laws.

      Picky grammar notes. 1) “How” is reserved for discussion of cause and effect. You may be planning to actually describe HOW one state’s rate is higher than another’s. If so, the use here is correct. Otherwise, you’re just comparing the rates. 2) Use the simple “Than” for comparing two rates when you know them, as in “has a higher murder rate than its neighboring state.” Use “compared to” for observations that don’t include known numbers, such as “compared to the norm, Michigan’s murder rate is off the chart.”

      With recent gun debates, states have become more stern towards gun reform.

      Notice that “stern towards gun reform” does not mean “have enacted stricter gun regulations.” It means only that the states have strong attitudes about gun reform, positive or negative.

      Cities such as Chicago, Illinois despite having strict gun laws their gun murder rate is the highest nationwide.

      This is not a legal sentence. The basic sentence is: “Cities such as Chicago HAVE the highest murder rate.” Your sentence loses its way and doesn’t there.

  2. nina525 says:

    Each essay requires a rewrite for the portfolio
    Annotated bibliogragphy due
    Self reflective essay due May 1st
    Once the portfolio is complete, grade conference is required
    Crucial to meet with professor May 6th
    First year writing program core value essay
    5 core values and explain how houses them and how you met your goal
    final revisions and final feedback
    Research must comply with resources
    Purpose of word count is to make sure you write and have enough ideas
    Grammar and technique, revising essays
    How to narrow down and clarify our writing
    Statistics must be cited and cite statistics the prove the case you trying to make
    Magical dependency
    To create a dependent clause use a transition word
    “Because” must be depemdfemt clause because you have include an explanation
    Dependency deemphasizes the important claim
    Arguing with the writers statistics
    Changing or modifying writing
    Scholarship
    Violation of academic integrity are examples pf academic integrity

  3. doorknob9 says:

    Portfolio contains:
    3,000 word research paper
    Annotated bibliography,10-15 sources
    Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
    Self reflective statement
    Two of the following:
    Definition Rewrite, plus the original Definition Argument
    Causal Rewrite, plus the original Causal Argument
    Rebuttal Rewrite, plus the original Rebuttal Argument
    Purpose for word count is to make sure you express enough ideas

  4. yourfavoriteanon says:

    Notes:
    – conferences are mandatory last day
    – cut and paste self-reflective statement format
    – don’t describe content, purposefully summarize it
    – independent clauses emphasize claims
    – dependent clauses minimize objections

  5. wazoo1234 says:

    Final portfolio due may 1st.
    finish research paper.
    Finish re writes
    Annotated bi

  6. jets1313 says:

    Self reflective essay due May 1st
    Essay requires a rewrite for portfolio
    Portfolio:
    3,000 word research paper
    Annotated bibliography,10-15 sources
    Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
    Self reflective statement
    Two of the following:
    Definition Rewrite, plus the original Definition Argument
    Causal Rewrite, plus the original Causal Argument
    Rebuttal Rewrite, plus the original Rebuttal Argument
    Purpose for word count is to make sure you express enough ideas

  7. rowanstudent2 says:

    Class Activities
    Brevity and Clarity
    – the best papers convey the most information, the most meaning, in the fewest words
    Magical Dependency
    – independent clauses emphasize claims
    – dependent clauses minimize objections

    The Portfolio
    – 3000-word Research Position Paper
    – Annotated Bibliography, 10-15 Sources
    – Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
    – Self-Reflective Statement
    – (5, 6, 7, and 8) Two of the following:
    Definition Rewrite, plus the original Definition Argument
    Causal Rewrite, plus the original Causal Argument
    Rebuttal Rewrite, plus the original Rebuttal Argument
    DUE MAY 1st
    – Grade Conference May 6th

    Self-Reflective Statement
    – core values of the FYWP

  8. hazelnutlatte123 says:

    – independent clauses= claims
    -dependent clauses= minimize objects
    – finish rewrites
    – portfolio due may 1st
    -annotated bibliography due Wednesday
    -Portfolio:
    3,000 word research paper
    Annotated bibliography,10-15 sources
    Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
    Self reflective statement
    pick Two of:
    Definition Rewrite, plus the original Definition Argument
    Causal Rewrite, plus the original Causal Argument
    Rebuttal Rewrite, plus the original Rebuttal Argument
    – self reflective statement should include core values

  9. pomegranate4800 says:

    Notes:
    – independent clauses emphasize claims
    – dependent clauses minimize objections
    Portfolio:
    – research essay
    – annotated bibliography (10-15 sources) (due wed, 4/24)
    – visual rhetoric
    – self reflective statement (which should include core values)
    Pick two of:
    – definition rewrite, plus definition argument
    – causal rewrite, plus argument
    – rebuttal rewrite, plus argument

  10. nyaj32 says:

    Portfolio tasks:
    Research paper
    Bibliography- APA format
    Visual rhetoric
    Self reflective statement
    Definition argument rewrite
    Causal argument rewrite
    Finish rewrites

    GET MORE SOURCES!!

    • davidbdale says:

      If you’ve asked for help with sources, I’ll get right on it. If you haven’t, specify what you’re looking for with a Reply to one of your arguments and a Feedback Please request.

  11. chavanillo says:

    Annotated Bibliography contains background, How I use it? and citation

    -Each essay requires a rewrite for the portfolio

    -Annotated bibliogragphy due

    Self reflective essay due May 1st

    Once the portfolio is complete, grade conference is required

    Crucial to meet with professor May 6th

    First year writing program core value essay

    5 core values and explain how houses them and how you met your goal

    final revisions and final feedback
    Research must comply with resources

    Purpose of word count is to make sure you write and have enough ideas

    Grammar and technique, revising essays

  12. davidbdale says:

    It’s true you should produce a Rewrite for each of your short arguments, Chavanillo, but only 2, not 3 of them will go into your portfolio.

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