Class Activities
- Revision—Brevity and Clarity
- Magical Dependency
- Revision—Scholarship Plus and Minus
- Final Polish Workshop
Revision Examples
Taking helmets out of football is a very counterintuitive idea itself.
Taking helmets out of football is counterintuitive.
It may seem as if this will hurt the players, but in fact it will help protect the players.
Playing unprotected will help players, not hurt them.
No helmets will make keep players from taking risky, hard hits, and cause them to have more caution when playing the game.
Playing bareheaded will keep players from tackling head-first, sparing them from head, neck, and brain injuries.
They all will be protected from severe concussions, spinal cord injuries, and developing CTE later in life.
They will be protected from severe concussions, spinal cord injuries, and late-developing CTEs.
There is however, some opposition to this counterintuitive idea.
There is, however, some opposition to this counterintuitive idea.
Many people feel as if there would be no change to the amount of head injuries sustained in a football game.
Many people feel there would be no reduction to the number of head injuries sustained in a football game.
They feel as if players will still hit hard, and make risky plays.
They feel players will still hit hard and make risky plays.
Today football helmets are evolving more and more everyday.
Football helmets are evolving.
Risk compensation is when protective equipment prompts individuals to act more aggressively which increases the potential for injury.
“Risk compensation” is the tendency of players to risk injury through reckless play when equipment upgrades make them feel invulnerable.
If you give an individual better protective equipment, they are going to have an increase in aggression, causing more injuries.
More-protective equipment encourages reckless play, causing more injuries.
Helmets may have been upgraded, and made to absorb hits, but they still do the same damage.
Today’s helmets absorb more hits, but players’ brains suffer the same damage.
End-of-Semester Tasks
biggarz7
chavanillo
daphneblake25
g903254
halizzlee
hazelnutlatte123
doorknob9
jets1313
johndoe5555
july02222
mysterylimbo
nina525
nj908
nousernamefound1
nugget1114
nyaj32
pomegranate4800
wazoo1234
yourfavoriteanon
For my research essay, I will be examining how one state has a higher murder rate compared to the neighboring state, which has considerably less strict gun laws. With recent gun debates, states have become more stern towards gun reform. Cities such as Chicago, Illinois despite having strict gun laws their gun murder rate is the highest nationwide.
A good draft, Limbo. Some notes.
Picky grammar notes. 1) “How” is reserved for discussion of cause and effect. You may be planning to actually describe HOW one state’s rate is higher than another’s. If so, the use here is correct. Otherwise, you’re just comparing the rates. 2) Use the simple “Than” for comparing two rates when you know them, as in “has a higher murder rate than its neighboring state.” Use “compared to” for observations that don’t include known numbers, such as “compared to the norm, Michigan’s murder rate is off the chart.”
Notice that “stern towards gun reform” does not mean “have enacted stricter gun regulations.” It means only that the states have strong attitudes about gun reform, positive or negative.
This is not a legal sentence. The basic sentence is: “Cities such as Chicago HAVE the highest murder rate.” Your sentence loses its way and doesn’t there.
Each essay requires a rewrite for the portfolio
Annotated bibliogragphy due
Self reflective essay due May 1st
Once the portfolio is complete, grade conference is required
Crucial to meet with professor May 6th
First year writing program core value essay
5 core values and explain how houses them and how you met your goal
final revisions and final feedback
Research must comply with resources
Purpose of word count is to make sure you write and have enough ideas
Grammar and technique, revising essays
How to narrow down and clarify our writing
Statistics must be cited and cite statistics the prove the case you trying to make
Magical dependency
To create a dependent clause use a transition word
“Because” must be depemdfemt clause because you have include an explanation
Dependency deemphasizes the important claim
Arguing with the writers statistics
Changing or modifying writing
Scholarship
Violation of academic integrity are examples pf academic integrity
I like the idea of “arguing with the writer’s statistics.” I wonder how that would look in your essay.
Portfolio contains:
3,000 word research paper
Annotated bibliography,10-15 sources
Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
Self reflective statement
Two of the following:
Definition Rewrite, plus the original Definition Argument
Causal Rewrite, plus the original Causal Argument
Rebuttal Rewrite, plus the original Rebuttal Argument
Purpose for word count is to make sure you express enough ideas
If you need feedback to prepare your short argument rewrites, be sure to put them into Feedback Please.
Notes:
– conferences are mandatory last day
– cut and paste self-reflective statement format
– don’t describe content, purposefully summarize it
– independent clauses emphasize claims
– dependent clauses minimize objections
Your clause observations are beautifully phrased.
Final portfolio due may 1st.
finish research paper.
Finish re writes
Annotated bi
I think Feedback for one of your essays is still pending a reply to my question.
Self reflective essay due May 1st
Essay requires a rewrite for portfolio
Portfolio:
3,000 word research paper
Annotated bibliography,10-15 sources
Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
Self reflective statement
Two of the following:
Definition Rewrite, plus the original Definition Argument
Causal Rewrite, plus the original Causal Argument
Rebuttal Rewrite, plus the original Rebuttal Argument
Purpose for word count is to make sure you express enough ideas
copy-and-pasted from Doorknob?
Class Activities
Brevity and Clarity
– the best papers convey the most information, the most meaning, in the fewest words
Magical Dependency
– independent clauses emphasize claims
– dependent clauses minimize objections
The Portfolio
– 3000-word Research Position Paper
– Annotated Bibliography, 10-15 Sources
– Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
– Self-Reflective Statement
– (5, 6, 7, and 8) Two of the following:
Definition Rewrite, plus the original Definition Argument
Causal Rewrite, plus the original Causal Argument
Rebuttal Rewrite, plus the original Rebuttal Argument
DUE MAY 1st
– Grade Conference May 6th
Self-Reflective Statement
– core values of the FYWP
Good to see you’re examining the material, RS. Will I find any interactions with the Exercises?
– independent clauses= claims
-dependent clauses= minimize objects
– finish rewrites
– portfolio due may 1st
-annotated bibliography due Wednesday
-Portfolio:
3,000 word research paper
Annotated bibliography,10-15 sources
Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
Self reflective statement
pick Two of:
Definition Rewrite, plus the original Definition Argument
Causal Rewrite, plus the original Causal Argument
Rebuttal Rewrite, plus the original Rebuttal Argument
– self reflective statement should include core values
Reflective Statement will be easy to format with the cut-and-paste template.
Notes:
– independent clauses emphasize claims
– dependent clauses minimize objections
Portfolio:
– research essay
– annotated bibliography (10-15 sources) (due wed, 4/24)
– visual rhetoric
– self reflective statement (which should include core values)
Pick two of:
– definition rewrite, plus definition argument
– causal rewrite, plus argument
– rebuttal rewrite, plus argument
Thanks for playing the home version of our game.
Portfolio tasks:
Research paper
Bibliography- APA format
Visual rhetoric
Self reflective statement
Definition argument rewrite
Causal argument rewrite
Finish rewrites
GET MORE SOURCES!!
If you’ve asked for help with sources, I’ll get right on it. If you haven’t, specify what you’re looking for with a Reply to one of your arguments and a Feedback Please request.
Annotated Bibliography contains background, How I use it? and citation
-Each essay requires a rewrite for the portfolio
-Annotated bibliogragphy due
Self reflective essay due May 1st
Once the portfolio is complete, grade conference is required
Crucial to meet with professor May 6th
First year writing program core value essay
5 core values and explain how houses them and how you met your goal
final revisions and final feedback
Research must comply with resources
Purpose of word count is to make sure you write and have enough ideas
Grammar and technique, revising essays
It’s true you should produce a Rewrite for each of your short arguments, Chavanillo, but only 2, not 3 of them will go into your portfolio.