Editing for Logic

Negative Sports Media

Needs Work: Professional sports are known as great entertainment, but some people only find and report the negative news that they hear or see. News reporters, for example the reporters of newspapers and news shows, don’t always write about what happens on the field, but rather find aspects of what professional players do wrong off of the field.

The first sentence sets up a false contradiction. There’s nothing contradictory about:
A: Sports are great entertainment
B: Reporters go negative
As a consequence, readers don’t know what to make of the very first sentence, and the author loses most of her credibility.

Revised to show a more obvious contradiction:
A: Sports are thrilling for the physical feats on display in athletic competition.
B: However, many reporters ignore the spectacle on the field and concentrate only on reporting negative off-the-field activities.

The revised version is identical in content to the second sentence of the Needs Work version, a clear demonstration that the first sentence was wasteful and confusing.

Exercise:

  • Rewrite the paragraph in a Reply below, in one sentence or two.
  • Identify your comment as “Negative Sports Media.”

Learning in Our Sleep

Needs Work. Sleep is the most effective tool a person can utilize when wanting to improve the performance and efficiency of their brain. The more sleep someone gets the better their performance on exams and anything they are trying to learn will be.

The sentences Fail For Grammar (FFG) twice for pronoun disagreement (a person/their brain) (someone/their performance/they). But besides that, they’re also quite wordy and get the essay off to a very slow start.

The sentence says: Sleep is the most effective tool a person can utilize when wanting to improve the performance and efficiency of their brain.
Which means: Sleep improves the brain’s efficiency.

The sentence says: The more sleep someone gets the better their performance on exams and anything they are trying to learn will be.
Which means: Sleeping longer helps us learn and perform better on exams.

Exercise:

  • Rewrite the paragraph in a Reply below, in two sentences (or one if you can manage it). Consider using a brief, simple illustration. The tone is informational but light.
  • Identify your comment as “Hooray Sleep.”

Failing Schools

Needs Work: The replacement of large failing public schools with smaller “specialized” schools will successfully guide underprivileged students in the right direction to become successful. Many disadvantaged students in areas like New York City are forced to attend large high schools with extremely low graduation rates. These high schools are overcrowded with students and understaffed with teachers. Classrooms are filled above capacity and the “schools are simply under managed.” These inner city areas consist of countless students living in poverty and receiving an education without the proper motivation and techniques needed to succeed.

The sentences introduce plenty of material but are wordy and repetitious.

Fat: The replacement of large failing public schools with smaller “specialized” schools will successfully guide underprivileged students in the right direction to become successful
Lean: Underprivileged students are more likely to succeed when large failing public schools are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools.

Fat: Many disadvantaged students in areas like New York City are forced to attend large high schools with extremely low graduation rates.
Lean (combine with 1st sentence): Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when large failing public schools are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools.

Fat: These high schools are overcrowded with students and understaffed with teachers.
Lean: (Combine 1st 3 sentences): Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools.

Fat: Classrooms are filled above capacity and the “schools are simply under managed.”
Lean (combine with 1, 2, 3): Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers.

Fat: These inner city areas consist of countless students living in poverty and receiving an education without the proper motivation and techniques needed to succeed.
Lean: Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed.

Final Product: 

Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed.

Exercise: Expand the final two-sentence version back out to three or four sentences, adding a hook, a brief illustration, or an expression of opinion.

  • Identify your comment as “Failing Schools.”

Death with Dignity

Needs Work. Paul Lamb, 57, was left quadriplegic in a horrific car accident twenty- three years ago. He lives day by day in pain. His only release is the constant drip of morphine into his body. Mr. Lamb is not the man that he wanted to be, having to be dependent on the help from others. He describes his life as “unbearable” because of the intense pain. He has gone to court multiple times in the hope that someone will be merciful and allow him to end his suffering, but he got rejected.

The paragraph suffers from a choppy, repetitive sentence structure. Every sentence begins with Paul Lamb or a pronoun referring to Paul Lamb. The result is a series of  five unrelated statements that make no argument.

One Solution: Paul Lamb, 57, deserves the right to be released from his pain and dependency. For 23 years, he has lived in unbearable pain, or debilitated by a morphine drip that eases the body’s agony without relieving his total dependence on others since quadriplegia deprived him of the use of his limbs. Since he cannot be the man he wants to be, Lamb has spent years unsuccessfully battling the courts for the right to end his suffering.

Exercise: Rewrite the same material to emphasize why Mr. Lamb, and nobody else, should have the right to decide his fate.

  • Identify your comment as “Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death.”

30 Responses to Editing for Logic

  1. profs22 says:

    Negative Sports Media

    Original:
    Professional sports are known as great entertainment, but some people only find and report the negative news that they hear or see. News reporters, for example the reporters of newspapers and news shows, don’t always write about what happens on the field, but rather find aspects of what professional players do wrong off of the field.

    Revised: Sports are known for the intense action that takes place on field, however many reports focus on the dramatic behind the scenes scandals that take place off the field.

  2. profs22 says:

    Hooray Sleep
    Original:
    Sleep is the most effective tool a person can utilize when wanting to improve the performance and efficiency of their brain. The more sleep someone gets the better their performance on exams and anything they are trying to learn will be.

    Revised:
    Sleep improves brain efficiency, more sleep means increased performance and accuracy in daily life.

  3. runnerd4 says:

    Negative Sports Media
    Sports media reporters should be focusing on the entertainment that comes from the games, but many sports reporters decide to ignore the athletic feats on the field and focus on the scandals in the players’ outside lives.

    Horray Sleep
    Sleep improves the efficiency of the brain. Getting a longer night of sleep helps us learn better and perform better on exams.

    Failing Schools
    Many inner-city children are forced to attend failing public schools. Inner-city students that already live in poverty deserve a better education from a high school that motivates them to succeed. Underprivileged students in New York City are much more likely to graduate when attending smaller “specialized” schools as opposed to large overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools, says Bill Moyers.

    Mr. Lambs Dignified Death
    Paul Lamb, at 57 years old, deserves to be able to decide on his own to be able to end his suffering. He lives in constant pain and as a quadriplegic, is dependent on others. For 23 years of his life, he has lived between constant, excruciating pain, and the numbness of the morphine drip. As his quality of life has been decreased greatly, he should have the right to end his suffering with the help of doctors.

  4. profs22 says:

    Failing Schools

    Original:Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed.

    Revised: Students are failing, unprivileged kids are not given a fair chance to be successful in their already limited education. Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed. Privileged kids are handed the path to success, these low class children have to create it on their own.

  5. rowanstudent24 says:

    Negative Sports Media: Reporters tend to focus on the negative things athletes do instead of the positive things.
    Hooray Sleep: Sleeping longer can improve the efficiency of your brain and helps focus on learning.
    Failing Schools: New York City is full of underprivileged kids trying to get their education. They are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed schools they’re forced to attend are replaced by small ‘specialized’ schools, says Bill Moyers. There are kids within the inner city that already live in poverty and they deserve schools that motivate them and teach them to succeed.
    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death: Paul Lamb deserves the right to choose his own fate. He has lived quadriplegic for 23 years after being in a terrible car accident. Since he’s not able to live his life the way he wants to, he has been battling in court unsuccessfully for the right to end his suffering.

  6. SmilingDogTheProfWants says:

    Negative sports Media:
    Professional sports are a large part of everyday entertainment, yet the news we see about them is almost always negative. The reporters have decided that what the players do wrong off the field is more important than the game itself.

    Hooray sleep:
    Sleep is the most important thing for your brain to function at its max potential.

    Failing schools:
    Underprivileged students have a better chance of success in “specialized” schools than undermanaged and overcrowded schools that litter the streets of heavily populated areas like New York.

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death:
    Mr. Lamb has lived the last 23 years of his life in agonizing pain that is only alleviated by his medicated drips of morphine. Mr. Lamb has experienced more trauma in his last 23 years than a hand full of people will experience in their entire lives, yet he is denied time and time again the right to stop his agony.

  7. thecommoncase says:

    Negative Sports Media: The athletic talents of professional athletes is a topic discussed by both fans and reporters, but the reporters seem to care more about what the athletes are doing in their personal time rather than their time on the field. Reporters on the news prefer to critique players about the personal mistakes they make, rather than their professional mistakes on the field.

  8. profs22 says:

    Mr.Lambs Dignified Death
    Original:
    Paul Lamb, 57, was left quadriplegic in a horrific car accident twenty- three years ago. He lives day by day in pain. His only release is the constant drip of morphine into his body. Mr. Lamb is not the man that he wanted to be, having to be dependent on the help from others. He describes his life as “unbearable” because of the intense pain. He has gone to court multiple times in the hope that someone will be merciful and allow him to end his suffering, but he got rejected.

    Revised:
    Mr.Lamb, 57, should have the right to decide his own fate. After a horrific car accident, he is left in intense pain daily, and must rely on others for help. No one in court has been merciful enough to relieve Mr.Lamb of his pain, and he continues to live an “unbearable” life, simply because a judge is in charge of whether he will continue to suffer or not.

  9. cardinal7218 says:

    Negative Sports Media
    Professional sports entertain wide audiences with their high stakes and physical feats, but many news reporters decide to focus on the wrongdoing of athletes off the field rather than the excitement of the games themselves.

    Hooray Sleep
    Sleep makes the brain more efficient. More sleep leads to better performance on exams and better retention of information.

    Failing Schools
    Children in America deserve equal opportunity for success, however, many children in less wealthy areas are learning in insufficient environments that don’t set them up for success. There is a solution, though. Look at New York City, specifically. Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed.

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death
    Paul Lamb, 57, has lived in constant pain for 23 years due to quadriplegia, with a morphine drip as his only release from the pain. He has lost the ability to be independent and is no longer the man he wants to be, so he wishes to end his suffering. However, the courts will not allow Mr. Lamb the right to choose, even though he should not have to ask the courts in the first place. A court should not have to decide what Mr. Lamb should do about his own body and his own pain. A judge does not experience quadriplegia. The people who dictate what Mr. Lamb should do with his body have no idea what he’s going through. This shouldn’t be their decision. Mr. Lamb alone should decide whether to end his own suffering.

  10. gooferious says:

    Negative Sports Media
    Original: Professional sports are known as great entertainment, but some people only find and report the negative news that they hear or see. News reporters, for example the reporters of newspapers and news shows, don’t always write about what happens on the field, but rather find aspects of what professional players do wrong off of the field.

    Revised: Professional sports are a great source of entertainment but with it comes negative/bad media. News reporters often try to find information that goes against the players even if it has nothing to do with the sport itself.

  11. mhmokaysure says:

    Negative Sports Media
    Professional sports are often action-packed and provide a great deal of entertainment, however, oftentimes that doesn’t sell well well enough for the media. Instead, news reporters gravitate towards uncovering personal scandals to focus their stories on.

  12. aquarela says:

    Hooray Sleep
    Original:
    Sleep is the most effective tool a person can utilize when wanting to improve the performance and efficiency of their brain. The more sleep someone gets the better their performance on exams and anything they are trying to learn will be.

    Revised: Getting enough sleep helps people perform better, such as on exams and learning.

  13. mhmokaysure says:

    Hooray Sleep
    Sleep is essential for brain efficiency. An increased amount of sleep leads to better performance on exams.

  14. gooferious says:

    Learning in Our Sleep
    Original: Sleep is the most effective tool a person can utilize when wanting to improve the performance and efficiency of their brain. The more sleep someone gets the better their performance on exams and anything they are trying to learn will be.

    Revised: Sleep is the most effective tool to improve performance and efficiency of the brain. More sleep correlates with increased performance on exams and learning.

    Failing Schools
    Original: The replacement of large failing public schools with smaller “specialized” schools will successfully guide underprivileged students in the right direction to become successful. Many disadvantaged students in areas like New York City are forced to attend large high schools with extremely low graduation rates. These high schools are overcrowded with students and understaffed with teachers. Classrooms are filled above capacity and the “schools are simply under managed.” These inner city areas consist of countless students living in poverty and receiving an education without the proper motivation and techniques needed to succeed.

    Revised: Decreasing the size of number of students in schools can greatly increase the chance of graduating. These overcrowded high schools lack giving students the motivation and equal chance they deserve to an education.

    Death with Dignity
    Original: Paul Lamb, 57, was left quadriplegic in a horrific car accident twenty- three years ago. He lives day by day in pain. His only release is the constant drip of morphine into his body. Mr. Lamb is not the man that he wanted to be, having to be dependent on the help from others. He describes his life as “unbearable” because of the intense pain. He has gone to court multiple times in the hope that someone will be merciful and allow him to end his suffering, but he got rejected.

    Revised: 23 years ago, the now aged 57, Paul Lamb was involved in a car accident that left him quadriplegic. He describes his life as unbearable due to the fact that he needs others help and morphine is his only pain relief. After multiple failed court attempts, Paul simply wishes for someone who will be merciful towards him.

  15. mhmokaysure says:

    Failing Schools
    Children throughout America are not being handed the same platform and opportunity for educational success. Officials in New York City may have found a solution to this issue. Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed.

  16. clementine102 says:

    Negative Sports
    – Sports are a great way to be entertained. However, news reporters don’t shine the brightest light on sports entertainment. They always report on the negative instead of positive

    Horray Sleep
    – The longer and the more someone sleeps, the better they preform which improves brain efficiency.

    Failing Schools
    – Having students in New York be in schools that are overcrowded will disadvantage them so instead, having smaller “specialized” schools will help underprivileged students be in the right direction to become successful.

  17. BabyGoat says:

    Negative Sports Media:
    Athletes play long and hard contributing to their team’s win, but reporters tend to focus on the negative things athletes do instead of the positive things.

    Hooray Sleep
    Sleep can be very efficient for performing well on tests and learning new things.

    Failing Schools
    The replacement of large failing schools with smaller school with help guide underprivileged students to success. Many students in areas like New York are forced to attend large schools overpopulated schools that are understaffed. This way of school doesn’t guarantee kids learn all they need or get the extra help they need. These inner city areas consist of countless students living in poverty and receiving an education without the proper motivation and techniques needed to succeed.

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death
    Paul Lamb, 57, was in a horrific car accident twenty-three years ago, which left him quadriplegic. Since that day, he always been in pain. The only time he is pain-free is when he gets his morphine. Mr. Lamb is not happy and describes his life unbearable. He has not been able to live his life the way he wants. This has taken a toll on him mentally and physically. It should be Mr. Lambs decision on how he wants to proceed in his life.

  18. pardonmyfrench13 says:

    Negative Sports Media Revised: Professional sports serve large audiences as great entertainment due to the thrilling physical feats on display and athletic competition. Despite everything that’s taking place on the field, reporters decide to focus on the negative aspects of athletes in other settings.

    Hooray Sleep Revised: Sleep makes the brain more efficient and allows it to function at maximum potential.

    Failing Schools Revised: Many children going to school in less wealthy areas are not being set up for success due to insufficient learning environments. New York City has shown however, that this can be turned around and improved upon. When the schools in New York City that were overcrowded, badly managed, and understaffed, were broken up into more specialized schools, the graduation rate skyrocketed. Whether a student is living in poverty of not, they deserve the same chance to succeed and be motivated as anyone else.

    Mr. Lambs Dignified Death: Mr. Lamb, 57, has lived in constant pain due to quadriplegia 23 years ago. His only release from pain is a morphine drip and at this point has lost his ability to be independent. This is never the man Mr. Lamb saw himself being, and he has made the hard decision that he wants to end his suffering. The court system has failed him by not allowing him to do as he sees fit, even though he should not have to ask for permission in the first place. Every human should have the right to decide what they want to do to their own body. No one knows the true pain he feels every day, especially not a judge who has never experienced these issues. Mr. Lamb should be granted the right as he sees fit in regard to his own life.

  19. dayzur says:

    Negative Sports Media
    Professional sports are a great form of entertainment for anyone looking for constant fast-paced and enjoyable content. Not everyone agrees with this as most things and people such as news reporters, only see the negatives, like someone’s actions off the field when we should be focused when they are entertaining us.

    Hooray Sleep
    Consistent sleep proves to enhance the performance and efficiency of the brain. More sleep leads to greater performance on exams and anything else being learned.

    Failing Schools
    Many students are at disadvantages at school keeping them from living up to their best potential. Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed. These students need to be put on to the right path, because as of now these unmotivated failing schools will send them nowhere that will benefit them or anyone else in the future.

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death
    A nearly fatal accident left Mr. Lamb practically lifeless, living day to day in immense pain looking for an escape. An escape he will not be granted sadly enough. Lamb has dealt with his injuries for 23 years, morphine stuck in him at all times. This is not by his own call, as Mr. Lamb does not want this anymore. Lamb has been denied the rights to do anything most normal people would the second his accident occurred, and now has been denied his rights on his own life. Mr. Lamb does not have access to end his own suffering, and proceeds to live in pain day by day, wishing one day it will end.

  20. sonnypetro29 says:

    Negative sports : Professional sports are known for the best of the best competing at a high level.The reportors though are not know for their entertainment they report the bad in the situations, they don’t always write about what happens on the field, but rather find aspects of what professional players do wrong off of the field.

    Hooray sleep : Sleep is the most effective way for your brain to perform at its heighest level.

    School: Many disadvantaged students in areas like New York City are forced to attend large high schools with extremely low graduation rates. These high schools are overcrowded with students and understaffed with teachers. This puts the children in unfair positions to be successful. These inner-city areas consist of countless students living in poverty and receiving an education without the proper motivation and techniques needed to succeed. specialized schools will help with educating those who have an unfair disadvantage.

    Paul Lamb, 57,Has live the last 23 years in pain. Paul was left a quadriplegic after a horrible car crash. His only release is the constant drip of morphine into his body. Mr. Lamb is not the man that he wanted to be, having to be dependent on help from others. He describes his life as “unbearable” because of the intense pain. Lamb is not in controll of his life he is waiting on the judge to allow him to end his suffering.

  21. bluntwriting88 says:

    Negative Sports
    Media: Most of the focus of Sports media is on negative events and outcomes.

    Hooray Sleep:
    Sleep is one of the largest contributing factors to the brains development and thereby success in coursework and exams.

    Failing Schools:
    Underprivileged kids in urban cities are more like to graduate when their overcrowded schools are replaced by specialized smaller schools.

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death:
    Paul Lamb, 57, who was left quadriplegic and relies on drips of morphine, lives a sustained painful life for 23 years. He wishes for the suffering to end. His court plea to end his life was rejected, extending his suffering he no longer desires.

  22. comicdub says:

    Negative Sports Media:
    Professional sports are known for their amazing entertainment value, bringing thousands of people together to watch, yet many news reporters don’t even pay attention to this and decide it’s better to focus on the negative stuff that happens outside of the stadium.

    Hooray Sleep:
    One of the most effective brain “performance enhancing” tools, is sleep.
    More sleep correlates to more efficient learning as well as better performance on exams.

    Failing Schools:
    Schools are supposed to be a place where all students have an equal opportunity to expand their knowledge and come to understand the subjects that they like and don’t like. Yet, this doesn’t seem to be the case of most schools in America. Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed.

    (I will be submitting the Mr. Lamb part later)

  23. 612119d says:

    Negative sports Media: Professional sports our a large part in our entertainment because of there out of this word athletic ability but reporters always seem to wanna drag down these athletes for every mistake they make.

    Hooray Sleep : Sleep is incredibly important to help the brain reach max potential.
    Failing Schools: Underprivileged students have a better chance of success in smaller school that cares about there grades vs larger schools that can barley stay open.
    Mr lamb: Paul Lamb has lived in constant pain for 23 years due to being a quadriplegia, with a morphine drip as his only release from the pain. He is 57 years old and should be able to decide what he wants to due with his life. He wishes he could end the constent pain and suffering by ending his life but the courts won’t allow him to do it. It should be his body his choice, almost like abortion when the woman decides its her choice.

  24. l8tersk8ter says:

    Negative Sports Media
    Professional sports are enjoyed by many due to the various forms of entertainment offered. However, news reporters seem to dismiss the chances for stories based off these events and focus rather on negative news stories that people are probably less interested in.

    Hooray Sleep
    Sleep improves the brains efficiency, so therefore sleeping more helps with learning and academic performance.

    Failing Schools
    Underprivileged students living in New York City are more likely to graduate from smaller “specialized” schools that replace public schools. The public schools are overcrowded, understaffed, and badly managed, which are negative attributes that interfere with a successful academic environment. These inner-city students are already living in poverty and deserve more to promote motivation and success than a failing school system.

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death
    Paul Lamb has been living a little less than half of his life as a quadriplegic. For the past 23 years of his 57 years of life he has required a morphine drip to relieve the body that he can barely control of pain. He has depended on other people to do any daily tasks every day since the accident that left him quadriplegic. He has had no control over his life since the accident happened, but he is ready to take the control back by choosing to end his life. As a man who has been suffering physically, mentally, and emotionally for way longer than any human should have to bear, he should be granted his decision to end his suffering for good.

  25. corinnebuck1219 says:

    -negative sports media: Professional sports are a great way to watch the amazing athleticism people possess. It is sometimes hard to do so though, when sports reporters only are interested in the negative things they do in their daily life, instead of the one on the field.

    -hooray sleep: Sleep is the most effective way to improve the brain’s efficiency. Sleeping for long periods of time may improve things such as test taking.

    -failing schools: Under privileged students are more likely to excel when the large public schools get replaced by a smaller more specialized school. For example, in New York City, students graduate more when their large yet understaffed school, is replaced by a smaller more specialized learning. This then would start a new generation of inner city learning and giving the kids what they deserve.

    -Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death- Paul Lamb, a 23 year crash victim left a quadriplegic, deserves the right to be eased from his pain. At 57 years old, Mr. Lamb lives in agonizing pain, only sufficed by a constant morphine drip. He cannot be the man he wants to be when he only relies on others, since he cannot use his limbs. Mr. Lamb has tried for years to win the right to do so with his body, but has been denied for multiple years.

  26. gabythefujoshi18 says:

    Negative Sports Media:
    When it comes to professional sports entertainment, news reporters tend to only focus their attention to the negative outcomes of the game, ignoring what happened in the entire game.

    Learning in Our Sleep:
    Sleep improves the efficiency of the brain and allows us to perform better on exams.
    Failing School:
    Inner-city students need better opportunities and recourses to graduate. They are studying in poorly managed schools with low graduation rates. New York City students living in overcrowded schools would have a much better chance at graduating if they were moved to smaller, “specialized” schools.
    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death:
    Paul Lamb deserves to die in peace. He has lived in constant pain for 27 years after a car accident, causing him to be left quadriplegic. The only way to alleviate his pain is with a morphine drip but even then, he is constantly having to rely on others and he cannot do the things he wants. Lamb has suffered enough and he has a right to end his suffering.

  27. tcarter101 says:

    Negative sports media
    Professional sports are thrilling toa very wide audience with the high risk and skill the athletes present. However, some news reporters chose to focus on the negative things about these athletes focusing on what they did wrong off the field or court rather than showing the excitement for what they accomplished during the game.

    Hooray sleep
    Sleep is the most effective tool for being more efficient. Getting the necessary amount of sleep allows you to retain more information and do better on your exams.

    Failing Schools
    Children in America deserve an equal opportunity for success, however, many children in less wealthy areas are learning in insufficient environments that don’t set them up for success. There is a solution, though. Look at New York City, specifically. Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed.

    Failing schools
    All children in America deserve an opportunity to succeed. Unfortunately, Schools in rural areas are heavily underfunded and lack the necessary tools for them to be set up for success. Due to the understaffing and overcrowding of these schools, many children are not able to succeed. However specialized schools give them a better chance for success in heavily populated areas like New york. This gives them the “chance” to get an education that will give them the skills necessary for a job after graduation.

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death
    Paul Lamb was a quadriplegic man who lived in constant pain for 23 years. His only source of comfort during this time was his morphine drip which took away some of his pain. He can no longer do things by himself and feels that his suffering should be ended. He was repeatedly denied the ability to end his suffering even though he was living in a state of constant pain. While I agree that life should be cherished and enjoyed there is no ability to live an enjoyable life while you are in a state of constant pain and suffering and he should be granted the right to end his suffering.

  28. comicdub says:

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death:
    At the age of 34, Paul Lamb was involved in a horrific car accident, leaving him as a quadriplegic. Now at 57, Mr. Lamb has spent the last 23 years just barely getting by with the constant drip of morphine he relies on to ease his pain. A life of reliance on others is not the kind of life he wanted, as a result Mr. Lamb wants the right to end his suffering. Yet for years, courts have denied him the right to end his own life. Nobody else can understand the hell that Mr. Lamb has lived through for the past 23 years which is why he should be the sole person to decide his fate.

  29. hailthegreat8 says:

    Negative Sports media
    -Most of these sports are known to be aggressive, but a lot of reports only tend to keep their eyes on the drama that takes place outside the field and doesn’t care about what’s going on in the field.

    Horray Sleep
    -sleep is very important in our daily lives because it can increase our production and improve brain efficiency

    Failing Schools
    -There are too many children that are pushed to join these horrible public schools that reside in the inner city. These children that attended the inner-city schools have to live in poverty and I hate that because they deserve so much more. They need to attend better schools so they have a higher chance of succeeding. The children in new york have a higher chance of graduating if their packed schools were smaller.

    “Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death.”
    -Paul Lamb didn’t get the right to choose his fate. He went through too much pain. Paul had to live as a quadriplegic for so many years. His life was just miserable. He only wanted to end it.

  30. shadowswife says:

    Negative Sports Media
    Sports media is meant to provide the thrill of a game on the field, yet news reporters view the scandals outside of the field to be entertainment.

    Hooray Sleep
    Proper sleep has a significant impact on a person’s performance in school because it improves the brain’s efficiency.

    Failing Schools
    There is a general disparity in education in impoverished communities. This includes lack of accessibility to better academic programs, preparation for life, or other beneficial opportunities for students. Underprivileged students in New York City are more likely to graduate when the overcrowded, understaffed, badly managed public schools they’re forced to attend are replaced with smaller “specialized” schools, says Bill Moyers. Inner-city students already living in poverty deserve better than failing schools that don’t motivate them or teach them to succeed.

    Mr. Lamb’s Dignified Death
    Fifty-seven year old, Paul Lamb should gain the right to decide when to end his own life. Within the past twenty-three years, he has been forced to live through the agonizing pain from the aftermath of a car accident. He is forever quadriplegic; incapable of enjoying the quality of life by wasting it on being dependent on others for self-care and his only relief is the constant drip of morphine. He is unable to be the man that he once was, thus he should have the right to end his suffering.

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