The Boxer – Minding Your Head
00:00-00:02: The video starts in a boxing ring, with a chair in the back and we see a blurry window behind it. The environment is very dark. The camera starts to move slowly in the right direction, we first see a huge dark column. And then a man appears in the ring between two boxing bags, behind four ribbons of the ring. He is apparently training. There are a few frames on the wall, which is a very common decoration plan in such places, in order to motivate people.
As the place is not illuminated and we only see a man silhouette in the background, the video is possibly giving us hints about its target. Him being alone and training in front of a vacant chair tells us that he might have some difficulties with other people. Although it is very common to train with a boxing bag, people usually prefer training with others, since they are in a place where everyone has the same purpose.
00:03-00:04: We see a middle-aged man looking at the camera. He is blond and has blue eyes. His lips are thin and red. His eyebrows are thin as well and not that salient. We observe two wrinkles on his forehead. He is in front of a white-grey wall with a light line on it. The camera is zoomed on his face only, we don’t know if he is standing or sitting. He is not smiling, just looking at the camera. We can say that he is possibly about to cry or just cried because of his blurry eyes.
00:05-00:06: He is sitting on a bench in the locker room. He is alone, there is one more bench in front of him, which is vacant. The bag on the floor and the cloth on the bench seem to belong to him. The room has typical green lockers, none of them is opened. The room’s door is beige and it is closed as well. Right next to the door, we see a shelf full of boxing materials. The video remains not well illuminated, yet his shadow appears on the wall. The board, which is on the same side of the wall, seems to be inelaborate with three torn papers on it.
His position gives us the impression that he is unhappy and needs help.
00:07-00:08: The camera zooms in on his face and focuses on his eyes. He is not looking at the camera. We can see that he is sweaty, probably because of the training he had.
00:08-00:12: another man appears on the scene. The man is older than him, seems to be friendly. They are talking and laughing. The man puts his hand on his knee in a friendly gesture, trying to show some support.
00:12-00:13: He appears on the ring again, this time the scene is much more illuminated than before. He seems to be more energetic. As the room is more illuminated now, we can see that there is a mirror on the wall and some posters. A few chairs are in the back but no one is sitting there. He is still alone on the ring, but this time the door is open. We see the refugee signal on the door, it is on and shows where to exit in case of an emergency. I believe this is a way to say he is being able to reach some help.
00:14-00:15: He keeps training.
00:16-00:18: The camera zooms in on his face again, he seems to be very focused on training.
00:18-00:22: The man who was with him in the locker room is with him on the ring. They are training together. They both seem to be happy. They are smiling and kidding with each other.
00:23-00:24: He is smiling and talking to someone. But we only see his face.
00:25:00:30: We see him with three men, they are talking. He seems to be very content with them. He is talking and the others are listening to him. They are all smiling.
This is a good first draft, Aquarela.
I’ve read only the first section, 00:00—00:02, and I’ve watched only the first 2 seconds of the video, so I’ll limit my comments to what I’ve read and seen so far and hope that will help you with your Rewrite. Be sure to put the Rewrite into Feedback Please if you need more interference.
I don’t know how you can tell from the start that we’re in a boxing ring. I couldn’t place the video until I saw the boxer working the bag.
Wherever we are, the empty chair sends a message of isolation or general emptiness. The video starts in motion, and the big column you describe obscures most of the screen. I’m not sure your reader would understand without watching the video that we’re looking at a very dark screen (with no visible color, it might have been shot in black and white) that starts with a left-to-right panning motion. I get the impression that we’re walking through the scene, as if we’re a moving observer watching the scene unfold, from the empty chair to the lone boxer training by himself in what after two seconds can be understood to be a boxing ring.
I wonder why the bag behind the boxer is swinging without anybody else hitting it. I at first got the impression he might have been training at one bag while someone else was working the other bag. When that turns out not to be the case, I got an increased sense of the lone boxer’s isolation.
He’s also apparently pretty good, judging from the speed of his left-right combination. Did you get that sense too?
That never occurred to me. Do you think there are motivational posters in those frames? I would have guessed old fight posters of pictures of historic matches.
By “target” I presume you mean its intentions?
Again, that’s fascinating. I did not draw that conclusion. It’s very interesting and certainly possible. What I noticed instead was that he was wearing sweats, even perhaps a long-sleeved hoodie. To me that indicated he might be working out primarily to work up a good sweat and perhaps lose some weight (maybe get his weight down for an upcoming weigh-in?).
Interesting, so you’re going strong on the “isolated against his preferences” theme. I respect it.There is certainly enough evidence in the first 2 seconds to support it, and I like that you’re BOTH reporting what you see AND interpreting what it might mean.
And don’t forget, when you’re finished or as you go, to evaluate the EFFECTIVENESS of the creator at delivering what eventually turns out to be the intended message as you see it.