Childhood is hell.
Childhood is a hell where we suffer more than ever because children do not know that they are suffering. Although emotional abuse awareness has lately increased in society, most children are still being abused, especially by their parents. Many families have always been negligent. Despite everything, they have survived generations and generations and continue to live in modern times.
Child abuse presupposes that someone has a child. We define basic conditions to mean as simple as food, school, or health, but sometimes the affection and attention that “being so simple’’, for certain families, can become a difficult responsibility. Furthermore, this responsibility does not start after birth, but as soon as the pregnancy begins. Children are born with a history of nine months.
Neglect and abuse result from a complex combination of individual, family, and social factors. Being a single mother or father, being poor, having problems with drug or alcohol abuse, and/or having a mental problem (such as personality disorders or low self-esteem) can make a parent more likely to practice neglect or abuse against the child. Besides, adults who have suffered physical or sexual abuse as children are more likely to abuse their own children. Neglect is identified twelve times more often in children living in poverty than those who do not.
First-time parents, teenage parents, and parents who already have several children under the age of five are also at an increased risk of abusing their children. Women who do not seek antenatal care, who smoke, practice drug abuse, or have a history of domestic violence during pregnancy may be at risk of abuse against their children. In these cases, sometimes strong emotional bonds between parents and children do not develop. This absence of emotional ties occurs more often in premature babies or sick babies separated from their parents in early childhood. Since mothers and babies are not able to have time with each other, they may not create an emotional bond which is vitally important to new-born babies.
Parents, too often, do not harm their children on purpose. However, as we do not allow our children to express their feelings as adults do, we assume that we know what is best for them, and the abuse becomes acceptable. Alice Miller, the famous Polish-Swiss psychotherapist, says in one of her books, ‘’Parents are indeed capable of routinely torturing their children without anyone interceding.’’ She also admits that she was very far away from being an ideal mother, but she learned from her own experience that children are the most vulnerable human beings for being children. We can see this fact through a simple example; when someone starts harassing an adult in public, other people interfere and defend the person who is being harassed. Nevertheless, if an adult harasses a kid, people usually stay quiet and let the abuse happen. Though it is obvious that children are weaker than adults and cannot defend their rights against older people, they are less protected than adults. This is nonsense hypocrisy and still exists.
The belief that parents want the best for their kids may be true for most caregivers, and our society believes that parents own their kids. Therefore, emotional abuse is legitimated by people. Moreover, children that are victims eventually become culpable because normal attitudes such as crying, running, rejecting food are seen as a fault when they are done by a kid. Thus, according to the common belief, the punishment is acceptable, even deserved.
Need a reference for Alice Miller.
Need a reference for “Neglect is identified twelve times more often in children living in poverty than those who do not.”
Aquarela, the emotional impact of your material here is so devastating I can’t believe you have spared just 575 words for it.
This paragraph alone deserves 1000 words:
Whole books have undoubtedly been devoted to the several big ideas you casually toss off here:
1. Our society believes that parents “own” their kids. Children are property.
2. Society therefore legitimizes emotional abuse (as long as it doesn’t cross the line into physical abuse).
3. Children are too often disbelieved when they exhibit behaviors that should alert us to abuse.
4. Their cries for attention are interpreted as “acting out,” or “rebellious youthfulness,” and therefore deserving of “corrective action” by their parents.
This is incredibly rich. Frightening and credible. I’m afraid it’s mostly “causal,” not “categorical,” so it probably rightly belongs in a different short argument, but we can work around that.
I admire you and your ambition for tackling this tough topic. Please give it the full attention it deserves if you have the time to devote to the project. There’s SO MUCH MORE TO SAY about what you’ve barely touched on here.