Practice Opening-person345

To completely eradicate Polio, every country in the world must be willing to cooperate in receiving the necessary vaccinations to achieve immunity. The country of Nigeria is not following up on immunizations in the country. This is because the Nigerian government does not have enough funds to invest in a proper health care system. If Nigeria were not so poor, they would be able to have a higher standard of living and in turn, a better health care system which will provide the opportunity for the Nigerian government to administer the necessary Polio vaccines to the people and address the importance of vaccines in general so herd immunity can be achieved. Nigeria’s cooperation in administering Polio vaccines is the key to eradicating Polio.

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1 Response to Practice Opening-person345

  1. davidbdale says:

    To completely eradicate Polio, every country in the world must be willing to cooperate in receiving the necessary vaccinations to achieve immunity.

    A good start, Person, except for the ambiguity of countries receiving vaccinations. They can facilitate them, deliver them, distribute them. Or as a verb they can vaccinate their populations.

    The country of Nigeria is not following up on immunizations in the country.

    The logical chain here is obvious. All countries need to cooperate. Nigeria doesn’t. But what do you mean by “following up”?

    This is because the Nigerian government does not have enough funds to invest in a proper health care system.

    That may truly contribute to the problem, but there’s more, isn’t there? Plenty of poor countries achieve vaccination by cooperating with international efforts.

    If Nigeria were not so poor, they would be able to have a higher standard of living and in turn, a better health care system which will provide the opportunity for the Nigerian government to administer the necessary Polio vaccines to the people and address the importance of vaccines in general so herd immunity can be achieved.

    You have about 100 words to spend, Person. You blow most of your budget on this sentence, which can be reduced to: “A richer country could inoculate enough of its citizens to achieve herd immunity against polio.”

    Nigeria’s cooperation in administering Polio vaccines is the key to eradicating Polio.

    It’s the key if Nigeria is the only country that doesn’t currently cooperate, but you haven’t established that.

    Your grade is at Canvas, Person. You have options.
    1. If you’re satisfied with your grade, you don’t have to do anything.
    2. If you’re satisfied with your grade, but you appreciate the feedback, leave me a Reply.
    3. If you want a better grade, you have one week to revise and put this post into Regrade Please.

    Like

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