Practice Opening- honeysucklelilac

Polio can never be eradicated if there is no trust between the Nigeran people and their government. There are contaminants rumored to be in the vaccine such as AIDS and one that could cause birth defects. As of 2014 there have already been efforts from the Global Polio Eradication Initiative trying to eliminate the virus that have cost up to $10 Billion. The Nigeran Minister for health and state claims that “there is a science to polio eradication”, but how much money is too much? This along with the rumors of what’s in the vaccine makes Nigerians hesitant to get the vaccine.

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1 Response to Practice Opening- honeysucklelilac

  1. davidbdale says:

    Polio can never be eradicated if there is no trust between the Nigeran people and their government.

    This is incredibly bold, Lilac. You pin the entire global effort on the people of Nigeria. Therefore, I expect you to tell us next precisely why this one country is so crucial.

    There are contaminants rumored to be in the vaccine such as AIDS and one that could cause birth defects.

    So pretty quickly, we’re off track. Did the government start the rumors to sabotage an eradication effort? Or do the people distrust the government? The rumors are an important detail, but we’re counting on you for context and clarity.

    As of 2014 there have already been efforts from the Global Polio Eradication Initiative trying to eliminate the virus that have cost up to $10 Billion.

    That’s important too, but it doesn’t explain why Nigeria is so important. (Keep in mind, we have no idea where polio still exists. We’re counting on you to tell us everything we need to know. Frankly, how much money has been spent is not that important.)

    The Nigeran Minister for health and state claims that “there is a science to polio eradication”, but how much money is too much?

    Really lost now. What does dollars spent have to do with the science of eradication?

    This along with the rumors of what’s in the vaccine makes Nigerians hesitant to get the vaccine.

    What is “This”? There seems to be only one reason for hesitancy, and it has nothing to do with the budget.

    You start SOOO strong, Honeysuckle, then lose your way. Nigeria is just an example of a country where mistrust of the government and of international relief agencies makes the people reluctant to comply with inoculation programs. Can you put the country into that context in order to support your bold opening claim?

    Your grade is at Canvas, Honeysucklelilac. You have options.
    1. If you’re satisfied with your grade, you don’t have to do anything.
    2. If you’re satisfied with your grade, but you appreciate the feedback, leave me a Reply.
    3. If you want a better grade, you have one week to revise and put this post into Regrade Please.

    Like

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