Practice Opening – Capched
Polio is a disease that has been around since 1894. Due to the outbreak in 1952, tens of thousands of people had died from it. It became an epidemic and a vaccine has been found. Scientists would like to eradicate this disease but it will not go away 100 percent. There are a lot of people out there who have fears of the vaccination. Some people do not trust it at all. This is the case with a lot of vaccinations that are going on around the world. It’s just not possible to fully eradicate polio nor any disease out there.
612119d
bluntwriting88
capched
cardinal7218
carsonwentz1186
cfriery
chavanillo
christianity19
clementine102
comicdub
compiistudent
corinnebuck1219
daphneblake25
dayzur
g903254
gabythefujoshi18
goldin92
gooferious
hailthegreat8
hazelnutlatte123
honeysucklelilac
icedcoffeeislife
imgoingswimming
iwantpopsicle
doorknob9
BabyGoat
jeffbezos123
jets1313
johnwick66
justheretopass
kobebryant32
kowiklinski
l8tersk8ter
aquarela
metro111c
mrmba1
mysterylimbo
nina525
nousernamefound1
nyaj32
oaktree1234
pardonmyfrench13
person345
pomegranate4800
Jessicariccio
rosekyd
rowanrat
rowanstudent24
runnerd4
shadowswife
SmilingDogTheProfWants
sonnypetro29
tcarter101
thecommoncase
wafflesrgud22
wazoo1234
yourfavoriteanon
Counterintuitivity 
I can’t imagine that will be crucial information, Capched, but I’ll give you some rope. What’s the significance of the date?
Polio doesn’t kill often but it paralyzes children tragically. I’m not sure why 1952 matters, but again, I’ll give you just a little more rope.
I’m going to make a recommendation, Capched. Combine the facts into a sentence with a robust, active verb. Make every sentence DO SOMETHING. For example, “The vaccine for polio has so far tragically failed to eradicate this terrible disease that has crippled millions of children.” See what I mean? All the background (minus the dates, which are irrelevant) serves to emphasize the tragedy that the vaccine has so far FAILED.
You won’t need that sentence either.
And THIS ONE we can build into the first sentence as well. “Because of ignorance and fear, the vaccine for polio has so far tragically failed to eradicate this terrible disease that has crippled millions of children.” Right?
You won’t need that sentence either.
You can use the last two sentences if you want them, but they draw away your focus from polio.
That was probably more radical feedback than you would have preferred, Capched, but I think it’s best to experience radical re-thinking early in the semester on small and inconsequential assignments.
Your grade is at Canvas, Capched. You have options.
1. If you’re satisfied with your grade, you don’t have to do anything.
2. If you’re satisfied with your grade, but you appreciate the feedback, leave me a Reply.
3. If you want a better grade, you have one week to revise and put this post into Regrade Please.
LikeLike