Stand Your Ground with Caution
A new law, Stand Your Ground, says it is okay to kill someone in self-defense. A culture of violence could be created by this law. Under this “shoot first” law, we have a license to kill someone and declare it self-defense. When citizens have everyday conflicts such as road rage, neighborly disputes, and suspicion of other races, they’re now allowed to resolve these problems with guns. This will definitely lead to more deaths when it become too easy for us to use the “self-defense” excuse. Because these “justifiable killings have triples since 2005, murders are more likely to increase else where. When people are allowed to take the law into their own hands, people’s rights get trampled.
All humans could be in danger when they’re not sure whether their neighbor may be packing heat. There’s already more of murder than ever before, and passing this law will only make it worse. When a law like this gets passed, innocent people are more likely to get shot. In short, Stand Your Ground is a law that will create more trouble than it’s worth. We should repeal this law to prove that we respect our citizens’ lives.
You caught and corrected plenty of problems here, Tyson, but two dozen errors remain. Keep working on this as you can. I’ll consider the assignment complete when it’s error-free.
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I just updated my article, so can you let me know what else I need to correct?
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You’ve reduced the error total by about half, Tyson. You’re still using the banned 2nd person. Find advice on how to eliminate that in “Things Better Left Unsaid.” Your pronouns don’t always match their antecedents in number (Grammar Basics, Rule 4). And you’ve left in too many style problems that you can also find solved in “Better Unsaid” too: unnecessary if/then, unnecessary when/then, unnecessary the kind of a. Keep working.
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