Visual Rewrite – capched

High School Equivalency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32iWz3lEX4g 

There is an african american male who seems to be looking away. It seems like he is looking at a window. If so, then we can tell that there is still light outside. It’s possible that the man is probably staring at something outside. Maybe something is going on. The man looks down at his phone. He has an iphone but it’s hard to identify what type of iphone it is. The phone is currently open on the instagram app. It appears to be that the man is viewing a post of him and somebody else. They are both holding diplomas in their hands. The instagram post didn’t get that much attention as it only has 37 likes. The man is wearing jewelry on his left hand and he seems to have some writing on his right hand. He may have a tattoo. 

The video then goes through a series of photos. Each photo has the man and some other person in it. We see that one of the photos has a female. The female looks young so it’s probably the man’s relative or someone whom he has a relationship with judging by the smiles they are both putting on. Their relationship seems to be genuine. We then see more photos of the girl again. It’s obvious that this girl plays a role in this man’s life. Otherwise, we wouldn’t see multiple pictures of her.

The man is now smiling. He is happy about something. We now see a better image of the man. He looks like he’s in his late 20s or early 30s. The man has been to the gym before. He looks to be in shape. The screen seems to be in an instagram post template with the words “Finally getting my HS diploma!” Now we know that the man did not receive his high school diploma during high school. I’m unsure of the reason why. Maybe he dropped out of high school or maybe he never went to high school. It’s clear that he made the effort to complete his education. By the way that the man is smiling, this is a very big deal to him. 

It turns out that the girl in the pictures is the man’s daughter. We see a picture of her going down the playground slide in reverse. She’s looking at the camera. Judging by the background of the picture, it is clear that they are outside. The weather seems to be very warm as the daughter is wearing a short sleeves shirt. Judging by the positioning of the daughter’s shadow, it is probably close to afternoon. 

The man had his hands rubbing on his face and his eyes had a gleam in them. The man is probably emotional from achieving this accomplishment in his life. Receiving a high school diploma is a big milestone as high school is not all that easy. The man seems to be in a quiet room or a study room where he is seen to be doing some school work. The man is probably taking some notes since he is writing inside of a notebook. The time of day in the video had changed a few times. The man has probably been studying and taking notes for a while. He seems to be very studious. 

The man is now seen with his son. His son looks young. He is probably between ages 6 and 12. The man looks like he is helping his son out with some work, or the son probably joined his father during his time of studying. There is a cat in the background, so it’s safe to assume that this man’s household welcomes pets. We see that the background has also changed. They are in the living room. The man is now carrying his son. They seem to be playing around or the father is escorting his son out of the area. It’s hard to tell since the camera is zoomed in. There is a picture of the man and his daughter but it’s an old picture. The man’s beard isn’t there anymore. They are both pointing at the camera. The man probably lives in the suburbs judging by the way that neighborhood looks. It seems like it’s a peaceful area to live in. 

The man is seen again with his child. Now it is clear to assume that the man cares about his children very much. Maybe he went back to get his high school diploma for the sake of his children. Probably the man didn’t want his kids growing to find out that their father never completed high school. The man wants to set a good example for his children. He wants them to complete their education as well. Now we see that the father is on his phone going instagram stories. We see an ad on the plone with the link “FinishYourDiploma.org.” The man probably used it to help go back to school and achieve his high school diploma. 

The reason for the man dropping out of school is still unknown. Maybe he dropped out because he had children to take care of. The father going back to complete his education just shows that he won’t let anything stop him to achieve his goals. Obstacles will come along the way, but it’s about how people handle them. Will they overcome it? Or will they succumb to defeat at the hands of the obstacle? 

This entry was posted in capched, Portfolio Capched, Visual Rewrite. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Visual Rewrite – capched

  1. davidbdale says:

    Capched, because you did not request Feedback, I will provide you a quick provisional grade and about 15 minutes worth of time to suggest ways you should revise your work to improve that grade.

    The next step would be for you to respond to that feedback. Then make revisions to this post and request a Regrade. If you wish further feedback on this post, you will have to ask specific questions.

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  2. davidbdale says:

    Capched, don’t forget to time-stamp your entries. I haven’t watched the video yet, and I won’t on this first round of feedback, but eventually I’ll want to match your descriptions to the times in the video. Thank you.

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  3. davidbdale says:

    Capched, I don’t understand how the man can be “looking away,” but that you can identify him as one of the diploma-holders on the instagram post. I don’t get a clear enough picture of what you’re looking at in that first paragraph.

    How does a video “go through a series of photos”? We were looking at instagram. Are we still seeing photos on a phone? Are you sure these are photos of the man and his family or friends? How do you know that BASED ON WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING AT?

    Still unsure about the photos, but now we seem to be looking at his phone again? I take it you concluded on the basis of the word “Finally” that he has gotten a delayed diploma?

    “We see now that the girl is his daughter” based on what? I imagine it just seems likely. But you don’t say that. Is there evidence, or is this just sound conjecture?

    Are we in a flashback watching the man take notes and studying? Or do you conclude that he’s continuing his studies even after receiving his HS diploma?

    What’s with the crazy time changes? Is the man reminiscing about all the time he spent raising his kids when he wasn’t spending time finishing his courses? You draw a lot of conclusions without telling us HOW. You don’t say how you know the boy is his son. How you know they’re in his home. How you know it’s a living room. Etc.

    Throughout your descriptions of the VISUALS, you should also be analyzing the RHETORIC. Why are we seeing what we’re seeing? What is the overall mood created? How effectively are we being educated or manipulated to make judgments?

    Do his kids or do they not follow Dad’s instagram, do you suppose? Has he never shared there that he was working on his diploma? Did he save that news until he could celebrate that he got it? What’s the message here?

    How effective is the ad and why?

    I’ve used up my time. See your grade on Canvas. Follow the procedure in the first Reply.

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