Robust Verbs- runnerd4

original: There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

revised:

Vancouver suffers a high crime rate due to heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. Heroin addicts will do anything to get their hands on the drug, including breaking and entering and stealing. Addicts’ usage of heroin makes going about their day to day life very difficult because they are unable to maintain jobs and strong relationships. The “free heroin for addicts” program is attempting to solve issues with the addicts and lower the crime rates by offering free heroin. The program does not help the addicts get off the drug, it simply reduces the crime rate. This program does keeps the addicts out of the hospital by providing them with clean needles to inject the heroin. Avoiding the hospital helps the people who are unable to pay for the hospital bills. The “free heroin for addicts” program will help with the quality of the city, but not with the addiction problem.

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1 Response to Robust Verbs- runnerd4

  1. davidbdale says:

    You’ve done good work by and large, Runner, by eliminating most of the repetition and the grammar errors of the original.

    You could make better sentences by combining elements of these two sentences:
    A. The “free heroin for addicts” program is attempting to solve issues with the addicts and lower the crime rates by offering free heroin.
    B. The program does not help the addicts get off the drug, it simply reduces the crime rate.

    You could make better sentences by combining elements of these two sentences:
    A. This program does keeps the addicts out of the hospital by providing them with clean needles to inject the heroin.
    B. Avoiding the hospital helps the people who are unable to pay for the hospital bills.

    You might also want to approach this assignment like a Purposeful Summary. Share all the essential information, but also promote an opinion about the material. This small assignment is graded as part of your Non-Portfolio collection, so it would be worth revising. Don’t make a new post. Just edit and Update this post.

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