Causal Argument — SmilingDogTheProfWants

Childhood Obesity is a Chosen Lifestyle

Regardless of parents trying their best, if it weren’t for children choosing heavy desires for the most stimulating things like video games, tv, Avoiding situation that could cause insults, and fast food over listening to their parents and playing outside they wouldn’t be obese. A child makes these choices that are common sense, pleasure above all else and that lifestyle has consequences. The reason children are obese is because they want fast food more than other alternatives. A child only wants the sugary, salty, greasy food because it’s appealing to what they love and crave. If the children didn’t cry over the food then most parents wouldn’t get it for them because they know what issues come with it. A parent can’t be held responsible for the desires of their child or how their mind works, so obesity cannot be directly controlled by the parents, but rather, by the child.

The responsibility of a child wanting to watch YouTube over playing outside falls on the child, not the parent. A child may avoid going outside to watch the newest video of something that peaks their interests like any adult would consider doing, but when that becomes a normality then the child’s health is put at risk. YouTube, though entertaining and markets themselves to be appealing to everyone and especially kids in modern day, isn’t to blame, at least not entirely, because There are so many programs and activities for kids that they shouldn’t need Youtube to entertain them and in areas that don’t have funding, there are always some required after school activities that the school must have for them to do. To get a child a hobby at a young age is beneficial in so many more ways than just keeping them active but it’s definitely a great way to stay active and avoid sitting still for so long. The health of a child is important because they don’t know what’s best for them but you still want them to be happy and dealing with obesity due to a lack of exercise is something that if they could grasp, they would thank you for. YouTube attracts the child’s interests but so can playing a game of tag outside, as long as the child has played a game of tag then they will understand that both YouTube and tag are fun things to do and they make the choice of one over the other.

We hear more and more about how funding is needed to put forth educational and physical programs outside and inside schools to try to prevent, alleviate, and solve the obesity issues in our youth, yet the only thing that is focused on is the need for more funding and the correct targeted audience. Most programs warn you about the health issues of being obese and the statistics that show high mortality rates and the lack of energy, which are true, but the issue doesn’t just lie with the obese children, but with everyone. If a community is established so everyone wants to eat healthy and exercise then the whole will benefit rather than singling out overweight kids and telling them they might die if they keep eating like they do, because then the kids aren’t going to care because everyday they wake up and feel fine as the issues become apparent into early adulthood when it’s the most difficult time for them to lose that weight. If you send in a representative of a program to talk to kids in a classroom about the issues of obesity and how to fix it most kids are going to ignore it because most aren’t obese, statistically only about 1-4 are in a class around 20 students large. The targeted audience is ignored because the leaders can’t claim a kid is overweight and group him with a bunch of overweight and obese children to talk to them, because other students will make fun of them and parents would be angry that a random person acclaimed their kid is overweight. But these programs are relatively good for the child and should at least be explored, however, the child doesn’t want people to make fun of them so they lose out on their opportunity. (other children may be to blame but it’s still the child’s choice to not exercise or stop eating junk food). If you educate the kids the right way then more results will follow.

For better or for worse, parents can’t force their kids to do too much and children find it more and more acceptable to disobey their parents and go against their wishes as time goes on. These parents don’t have the ability/time to work on a child’s small issues with the complicated world around their children. As a result of this inability and lack of time we find the parents forcing the schools to educate their children on things they might not fully understand. When a child can’t understand the issue or are too afraid of what others think they start to get worried, for example a child who thinks they’re overweight when they aren’t, might start eating less, which to some, would be a good thing as it seems like eating a little is a good diet but a kid shouldn’t have social standards forced on them for no good reason. Weight can be controlled and good eating and exercise can be established early, but that falls to the time that the parents have to encourage their child to do hold to those habits.

References

Committee, O. O. P. P. F., Institute, O. M., & Early, C. O. P. P. (2011). Early childhood obesity prevention policies. ProQuest Ebook Central https://ebookcentral.proquest.com

Institute, O. M., Food, A. N. B., & Committee, O. P. I. P. C. (2007). Progress in preventing childhood obesity : How do we measure up?. ProQuest Ebook Central https://ebookcentral.proquest.com

Institute, O. M., Board, O. H. P. A. D., Food, A. N. B., & Committee, O. P. O. O. I. (2005). Preventing childhood obesity : Health in the balance. ProQuest Ebook Central https://ebookcentral.proquest.com

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6 Responses to Causal Argument — SmilingDogTheProfWants

  1. SmilingDogTheProfWants says:

    I am still burdened by my topic choice. I am fully contented with finishing the class with it because I believe that it’s important for everyone to feel responsibility for themself even when others are around to help you (especially your parent(s)), however, any input for the way I’m handling the topic would be helpful. I most worry about the train of thought I follow in my paragraphs and whether I spend enough time on an issue before bringing up another one and if the reader can even comprehend my point due to the idea that a kid is to blame.

  2. davidbdale says:

    SDTPW, I won’t make detailed notes on every paragraph, but I feel compelled to mention several things about your introduction that would jeopardize your overall grade if they’re found throughout your work.

    Regardless of parents trying their best, if it weren’t for children choosing heavy desires for the most stimulating things like video games, tv, Avoiding situation that could cause insults, and fast food over listening to their parents and playing outside they wouldn’t be obese.

    —TV is always capitalized
    —Avoiding isn’t
    —situations should be pluralized
    —I have no idea what “heavy desires” means
    —Three of your “things” could contribute to obesity, but “situations that could cause insults” does not seem to qualify no matter how I try to slant it.
    —I understand that “listening to their parents” means “going outside as their parents suggest,” but the way you phrase it, readers will think “listening to parents” will reduce obesity.
    —I would suggest you start with a fast and compelling claim such as “Kids make themselves fat.” After THAT, your long sentence will be a lot easier to understand.

    A child makes these choices that are common sense, pleasure above all else and that lifestyle has consequences.

    —”these choices” is unclear by itself, but especially when you follow it with “that are common sense.” You warned against those choices in the prior sentence. Do you now endorse them?
    —”that lifestyle” is just as vague as “these choices.”
    —If you mean, “the overeat and underexercise lifestyle has an inevitable consequence: obesity”?

    The reason children are obese is because they want fast food more than other alternatives.

    Fails For Grammar Rule 3
    —Why “other alternatives” if the ONE ALTERNATIVE is healthy food?

    A child only wants the sugary, salty, greasy food because it’s appealing to what they love and crave.

    —Misplaced “only.” See Only Abuse
    —because of “appealing to,” your sentence means that “what they love and crave” DESIRES sugar.

    If the children didn’t cry over the food then most parents wouldn’t get it for them because they know what issues come with it.

    —Breaks the “not because” rule. See Not Because.
    —What are the “issues” that “come with it”?

    A parent can’t be held responsible for the desires of their child or how their mind works, so obesity cannot be directly controlled by the parents, but rather, by the child.

    —Breaks FFG Rule 4B

  3. davidbdale says:

    You have used the “Banned 2nd Person” repeatedly in your 2nd paragraph. FFG Rule 12.
    —See “Banned 2nd Person”
    —See “Fails for Grammar”

  4. davidbdale says:

    I opened your 2nd paragraph in Edit and crossed out all the repetitive material, boilerplate, and filler.

  5. davidbdale says:

    Here’s a streamlined version of P3:

    Funding is needed for school programs to alleviate obesity in our youth. Most existing programs warn students of the dangers of obesity (lack of energy, high mortality) for all demographics. Kids ignore these general warnings because they don’t perceive themselves to be at risk. Roughly 5-20% of them are, however, and battling obesity will become harder as they age. Labeling children as obese can get them bullied, and parents object too when their kids are singled out for attention, however well-meaning. The children’s health is paramount, though, and we can’t be deterred from counseling them regardless of the obstacles.

  6. davidbdale says:

    The shifting argument of your final paragraph:

    For better or for worse, parents can’t force their kids to do too much and children find it more and more acceptable to disobey their parents and go against their wishes as time goes on.

    —Parents are weak and helpless
    —Society sends kids the message that they can ignore their parents
    —Kids are in charge of their own choices

    These parents don’t have the ability/time to work on a child’s small issues with the complicated world around their children.

    —Parents are over-matched by their own lives
    —Kids are getting any guidance because parents neglect to guide them

    As a result of this inability and lack of time we find the parents forcing the schools to educate their children on things they might not fully understand.

    —Parents pass the buck to schools
    —Students are too stupid(?) to understand simple messages like: eat smart or die?

    When a child can’t understand the issue or are too afraid of what others think they start to get worried,

    —Children without the intelligence to process simple messages get confused
    —Children who worry about the stigma of obesity react how? I’m really not sure.

    for example a child who thinks they’re overweight when they aren’t, might start eating less,

    —Somehow healthy-weight children get the wrong impression that they’re obese?
    —While at the same time obese children can’t understand that they ARE obese?

    which to some, would be a good thing as it seems like eating a little is a good diet

    —Not sure why we’re discussing what “people think” about eating carefully

    but a kid shouldn’t have social standards forced on them for no good reason.

    —Again, what’s the relevance of worrying about healthy children undereating when the topic is obese kids taking charge of their own over-eating regimens?

    Weight can be controlled and good eating and exercise can be established early,

    —This is the first time you’ve acknowledged that education can actually be successful

    but that falls to the time that the parents have to encourage their child to do hold to those habits.

    —And now you walk that possibility back and retreat to the claim that parents are too busy and weak to encourage or impose behavior on their kids.

    It’s messy, SmilingDog. In short, I understand why you’re concerned about your train of thought.

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