Draft Causal Argument—Username

9/11 Made America More Racist

It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself. It has thrived in the best and worst of times and in every corner of the earth, doing particularly well in the United States of America. America’s relationship with racism has been a very long one and it’s still going strong. As if the situation hadn’t been dire enough, then the twin towers in New York City were attacked in an act of terrorism more horrific and devastating than the world had ever known. Whether or not the 9/11 hijackers understood the consequences of their actions is irrelevant. The after-effects rippled outwards and caused further damage more than what anyone could have expected. Fifteen years later, Americans are still dealing with the repercussions of one man’s decision to attack the United States. 9/11 shocked and terrified the world. That day set a new precedent for the future of public safety all over the globe. The TSA was exploding with new rules and restrictions on who and what can be on a plane. Americans become even more wary of anyone who didn’t look like them. The media turned the situation into a joke. Tabloids were printing new conspiracy theories everyday while shows like “South Park” and “Family Guy” turned the whole ordeal and those behind the attacks into a punchline. The saddest part is that we had an opportunity to make a comeback. It would have been one of the most difficult things our country had ever done and would have further changed the world forever but we failed to take advantage of our opportunity to find good in the situation. We’ve let the 9/11 attacks define our foreign policies, world relations and even how America functions domestically. Furthermore it’s changed how we relate to others. Our culture had never been particularly welcoming to new elements but more now than ever, we bristle at the idea of welcoming anyone or anything we’re not immediately familiar with. In recent years this reaction has softened, especially with younger generations rising up and becoming more politically aware but the majority of America still holds deeply rooted emotions against anything related to the 9/11 hijackings. The ripple effects of the attacks still continue outward even today. Presidential nominee Donald J. Trump made it a main point in his campaign to assure Americans that he’d place restrictions on allowing muslims to enter our country. Regardless of whether or not his prejudice stems from the attacks, many his voters share this sentiment because of the events of 9/11.

Citations
Rose, S. (2013, September 12). Since 9/11, Racism and Islamophobia Remain Intertwined. Retrieved November 04, 2016, from http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/steve-rose/911-racism-islamophobia_b_3908411.html

Poladian, C. (2015, September 11). The United States After 9/11: 6 Things That Have Changed Since 2001. Retrieved November 09, 2016, from http://www.ibtimes.com/pulse/united-states-after-911-6-things-have-changed-2001-2093156

In-Class Task

In a few sentences, use the Reply field below to critique this Causal Argument draft.

About davidbdale

Inventor of and sole practitioner of 299-word Very Short Novels. www.davidbdale.wordpress.com
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11 Responses to Draft Causal Argument—Username

  1. davidbdale says:

    It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.

    Probably not, since races weren’t around at the dawn of time. If you feel the need to be dramatic, choose a claim that has some validity, Username.

    It has thrived in the best and worst of times and in every corner of the earth, doing particularly well in the United States of America.

    Your claim has the unintended consequence of trivializing your thesis, Username. Something that has been with us forever and will always exist lacks urgency.

    America’s relationship with racism has been a very long one and it’s still going strong.

    You’re circling a thesis here somewhere, Prof. 1) Racism is as old as time. 2) It’s common in the US. 3) Repeat: It’s common in the US. Is any of this necessary?

    As if the situation hadn’t been dire enough, then the twin towers in New York City were attacked in an act of terrorism more horrific and devastating than the world had ever known.

    It might have felt that way to New Yorkers on that day, but you were barely alive, Username, and you didn’t survive the Russian pogroms of the early 20th century that killed millions. Just saying.

    Whether or not the 9/11 hijackers understood the consequences of their actions is irrelevant.

    It is, however, relevant that WE understand the consequences of their actions. So far you’re hinting that somehow they affected American racism. By now, if I weren’t your professor with your best interest at heart, I would have bailed on this essay. Make it go somewhere.

    The after-effects rippled outwards and caused further damage more than what anyone could have expected.

    Still teasing.

    Fifteen years later, Americans are still dealing with the repercussions of one man’s decision to attack the United States. 9/11 shocked and terrified the world.

    It did. And we are. But you promised me something I didn’t know.

    That day set a new precedent for the future of public safety all over the globe.

    You spent many sentences insisting that America is racist, then several more reminding us we were attacked 15 years ago by foreign terrorists. Now you’ve added a third wild card: public safety.

    The TSA was exploding with new rules and restrictions on who and what can be on a plane.

    What’s your timeline here, Prof? “Was exploding” before 9/11? Or was the agency empowered as a consequence of 9/11?

    Americans become even more wary of anyone who didn’t look like them.

    Let’s be clear here. The first several sentences give no indication what races you’re indicting, but the clear implication is that you’re discussing black/white racism. “Anyone who doesn’t look like an American” is an entirely different sort of prejudice. You haven’t been clear yet; this new prejudice against “foreigners,” if that’s what you’re getting at, makes your claims less clear.

    The media turned the situation into a joke.

    Hopelessly vague.

    Tabloids were printing new conspiracy theories everyday

    How is that treating the abomination as a joke?

    while shows like “South Park” and “Family Guy” turned the whole ordeal and those behind the attacks into a punchline.

    If so, an example would be extremely helpful. But even if so, you’ve shifted your position radically from “the media” to “tabloids and South Park.”

    The saddest part is that we had an opportunity to make a comeback.

    From what to what, Username? From a racist country to a color-blind country because of a terrorist attack? From an isolationist country to one that embraced people of all nations? Is your topic racism or nationalism?

    It would have been one of the most difficult things our country had ever done and would have further changed the world forever but we failed to take advantage of our opportunity to find good in the situation.

    I admire the effort you’re making to suggest that 9/11 could have been a “learning experience” of some kind, but you’re leaving the entire argument to our imaginations.

    We’ve let the 9/11 attacks define our foreign policies, world relations and even how America functions domestically.

    If this were still your introduction, you might be forgiven for painting with broad strokes with the promise of providing details later, but these THREE MASSIVE CLAIMS are entirely unsupported. How does the legacy of 9/11 drive our foreign policy? our international relations? our domestic programs?

    Furthermore it’s changed how we relate to others.

    Other Americans? Other races?

    Our culture had never been particularly welcoming to new elements but more now than ever, we bristle at the idea of welcoming anyone or anything we’re not immediately familiar with.

    We’re actually the primary destination for Immigrants from almost every country that people emigrate from.

    In recent years this reaction has softened, especially with younger generations rising up and becoming more politically aware but the majority of America still holds deeply rooted emotions against anything related to the 9/11 hijackings.

    Which reaction has softened? The resistance to immigration or foreign visitors that existed before they were born? or the worsening of that condition that you claim resulted from 9/11?

    The ripple effects of the attacks still continue outward even today.

    Are you going to redeem the promises you made in your first sentences that America is racist?

    Presidential nominee Donald J. Trump made it a main point in his campaign to assure Americans that he’d place restrictions on allowing Muslims to enter our country.

    Not racist. Discrimination based on religious belief.

    Regardless of whether or not his prejudice stems from the attacks, many his voters share this sentiment because of the events of 9/11.

    Don’t you want to distinguish between peace-loving observant Muslims and terrorists (religious or not) who blow things up and kill people in the name of jihad?

    Like

  2. carsonwentz1186 says:

    The claims this draft makes do not connect to one another very well. Most of them are not correct as the claims being made are asserting a different meaning than what is intended. There are also claims in this argument do not connect to the overall topic of the argument. Overall, this argument is too confusing to follow and most claims being made are either really hard to prove or utterly outlandish.

    Like

    • davidbdale says:

      Yeah, that’s roughly my take. Now . . . can you avoid the same problems in your own Causal Arguments? That’s the real test! Thanks for starting us off so well, CW.

      Like

  3. christianity19 says:

    That the 9/11 attacks caused some people to be racist towards the Muslims that allowed this day to happen.

    Like

  4. honeysucklelilac says:

    The first sentence isn’t strong and doesn’t seem like anything more than fluff/filler.
    It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.
    The thesis isn’t made clear until a few sentences into the argument.
    the twin towers in New York City were attacked in an act of terrorism more horrific and devastating than the world had ever known.
    Seems like a much more attention grabbing first sentence that makes clear what the argument is.
    Much of the beginning of this essay is full of filler without reaching a point, it is important to make every sentence count.
    There are three different claims made in this argument, America is racist, the attack on 9/11 was by foreign terrorists and public safety.
    There is a lot of reference to “we” and “others” be more specific and don’t generalize and expect the reader to know what you mean, tell them.

    Like

    • davidbdale says:

      All good observations, HSL. I hope that seeing them in such an earnest attempt to do good work makes it easier to recognize the flaws here when they threaten to invade your own Causal Arguments.

      Like

  5. thecommoncase says:

    While reading this draft, I felt that username is not very sure what he is trying to saw and consequently sounds insensitive while talking about a touchy subject. He will not be able to convince a large group of readers who are against his opinion to agree with his thesis.

    Like

    • davidbdale says:

      That’s a really good point, Common. Most essay writers address material that SOMEBODY is likely to be offended by (or at least very sensitive to). The author who doesn’t sound both authoritative and respectful will find it hard to convince anybody of anything.

      Like

  6. johnwick66 says:

    Username, even though he is attempting to connect us on his point to a very touchy subject, he delivers it very rough. His claims, while some do hold truth behind them, like how TSA has tightened security, others are more along the lines of basic accusations. Like how they said that the 9/11 hijackers may or may not have understood the consequences of their actions in regards to America’s racism and foreign affairs is completely irrelevant. They did what they did in order to spread fear in America, that’s the bottom line behind their attack and to an extent they accomplished it. Another problem with Username’s argument is how he brushes over how people should have used it in order to find the good in the situation. What could possibly have been the good in that situation? If their was something genuinely good he was actually thinking of that could have resulted from 9/11 then he should have elaborated on it, otherwise it sounds very shallow and baseless. The last thing is how he mentioned Trumps policy to restrict Muslims in entering the country and how his followers support it through their sentiment of 9/11. This would be a somewhat decent claim to make if he bothered to also acknowledge the strew of terror attacks to occur around the globe in the past 20 years. (Boston marathon bombing, the Paris shootings, Turkey bombings) while true 9/11 might have left some sentiment in Trumps supporters, the increase in terrorist attack’s by Muslim extremist would only solidify those beliefs. So it would have made more sense to point out saying that 9/11 was the starting point for these views which only grew stronger with every attack.

    Like

    • davidbdale says:

      Very thorough and attentive, JohnWick. I’m impressed that you took the time to refute specific claims and to dispute the supposed causal relationships Username tries to defend. I hope it served as a useful exercise that will help you critique your own arguments as you’re forming them.

      Like

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