2 Responses to ASP Source – Tikeena Sturdivant

1. davidbdale says:

   February 12, 2012 at 9:54 am

   Tikeena, I know I’ve mentioned this to you before. You cannot use textspeak for classwork, even if your only lapse is the occasional lower case “i” where academic English requires “I.” It’s a harmless habit for the rest of life, but here, you have to get rid of it.

   Small statements in your first paragraph are unclear. This bit . . .

   The source i found explained how [the Sabin vaccine] reduced the violent effect of the disease

   . . . contains two, and they’re important, though they might seem trivial.

   1. It’s possible your source did explain “how” the vaccine does its work, but most likely you mean the source provided evidence “that” the Sabin vaccine was effective.

   2. It’s entirely unclear what you mean by “reduced the violent effect of the disease.” This is certainly not trivial when your essays depend on making clear claims. Does the vaccine prevent infection completely? Does it limit the size of outbreaks? Does it make the effects less violent in the victims who do get infected? Readers can’t tell from your sentence, and they need to be able to.

   This is a small assignment, I understand, but there is no assignment in which you don’t have a chance to show your command of language and argument. Do your best to sustain an academic tone in all writing assignments, Tikeena. It should be much easier when all that’s required is two paragraphs. A shorter version of your first paragraph might look like this:

   My first research provided evidence that the Sabin vaccine effectively prevents polio infection so I went looking for evidence to refute that claim. An Academic Search Premier search for “Sabin doesn’t work” yielded an article titled, “The global introduction of inactivated polio vaccine can circumvent the oral polio vaccine paradox.”

   (Be sure to quote the title correctly.)

   In your second paragraph, you don’t mention Sabin by name. Readers will most likely conclude that OPV is the Sabin vaccine. Is it? Or is Sabin the “inactivated polio vaccine” of the title? This is unclear and would be fatal to your argument, if you were making one, Tikeena. You don’t actually appear to be making an argument though, which is another problem.

   I used bold to highlight several places in your second paragraph that need your attention, mostly for matters of grammar.

   Grade Recorded.

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2. sturdi36 says:

   April 26, 2012 at 7:44 pm

   The first time I decided to research the effectiveness of the polio vaccine (Sabin), the source I found explained how it reduced the violent effect of the disease. Using the ASP source I typed “Sabin doesnt work” in the search box and looked for the best article to describe what I was looking for. The article was called “The global introduction polio vaccine can circumvent the oral polio vaccine paradox.”

   This OPV has been tested and throughout the article it explains the different problems that were found. One of the problems that stood out to me was that people who did not have polio could receive the symptoms as a result of the vaccine. Its considered a infection but there is no type of therapy or anything for it.

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