Causal Rewrite – carsonwentz1186

The Illusion of the Quarterback

The ultimate goal of every sports franchise is to build a team to win a championship at all costs. It is commonly believed that the best way to do this in the NFL is to substantially overpay the best player on the team, the Quarterback, to achieve this goal. However, history has shown that this method of team building has come back to hurt teams and their championship aspirations more than it has helped them achieve that goal. Obviously, the Quarterback is the most important in football (maybe even in all of team sports), but it should also be clear by now that spending more than half of your salary budget on one player makes it all but impossible to surround him with the necessary talent he needs to be successful.

One of the most successful franchises in all of professional sports operated against this method and resulted in the longest reigning dynasty in the history of sports. This franchise was the New England Patriots and they built their roster under the belief that while the Quarterback is one of the most important players on the roster, he should be willing to limit his earnings to allow the organization to surround him with the necessary talent needed to reach the “promised land” so to speak. The Quarterback who was willing to cooperate with this method was Tom Brady who is widely considered the Greatest of All Time by many of his peers and those whose careers ended in a Hall of Fame induction.

Scott Davis, a writer for Business Insider, wrote a piece detailing just how Brady negotiated his contracts allowing the Patriots to successfully build the team around him. The article revealed that Brady “sacrificed at least $60 million throughout his career, and maybe as much as $100 million” which resulted in 6 super bowl winning rosters being built around the future Hall of Famer. Now, that may not sound like a lot of money when talking about a man who has been in the NFL for now 21 seasons, but that money given up through his frequent restructures allowed the Patriots to divert their funds to positions of need for team success, such as the signings of key players such as Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman.

The 2013 Seattle Seahawks were another team who defied the necessity of paying the Quarterback a crippling amount of money to win championships. This Seahawks team was by all accounts led by their defense dubbed the “legion of boom” for their heavy hitting and lockdown defense displayed on a weekly basis. Something to take notice of with this team was the Quarterback, Russell Wilson, was still under a mid-round rookie contract worth just $526,000 in the 2013 season, per Bleacher Report’s Ty Schalter, which ultimately allowed the team to go out and sign multiple big name free agents along the defensive line which was a big reason for the team’s success that season. The cap flexibility created by the Quarterback being under a ‘cheap’ contract by NFL standards today also allowed the team to survive the catastrophe of some bad signings, such as receiver Percy Harvin who was given a contract worth $64 million over a six year span. Harvin only played one game the entire season, which was the Super Bowl. 

This method is something the NFL franchises and Quarterbacks of today have yet to adjust to and work around. In today’s NFL, there are substantially large Quarterback contracts being handed out year after year, each one bigger than the last. Over the past three seasons, there have been 5 contracts given out to Quarterbacks that were worth $130 million or more. 3 of which being Carson Wentz, Jared Goff, and Deshaun Watson are currently not on that team’s roster today or are trying to find a way out of the organization.

Both Carson Wentz and Jared Goff for this upcoming season will still cost their former team $22 and $34 million this upcoming season. These two situations alone should be enough to why paying a Quarterback massive amounts of money to win is a flawed concept as now both the Eagles and Rams are paying their former Quarterbacks substantial amounts of money to play for other teams in 2021.

Deshaun Watson, currently of the Houston Texans, just recently signed a 4-year $156M contract right before the start of the 2020 NFL season. Less than 3 months after signing that contract, because of creative differences between him and the organization, he formally requested a trade because things were not going as he believed they should. The penalty for a potential trade would more than likely deal major damage to the Texans cap space. This is the major downside of dealing massive contracts to players who may or may not perform up to an organization’s standards as no team will be willing to take all of the financial heat for another team’s mistake.

I feel as though the best way around this predicament is for action to be taken on behalf of the NFL league office. At the end of the day, the NFL makes the rules for rookie Quarterback contracts and team salary caps. It would be more effective if the NFL could limit the amount of money given to certain positions, like the Quarterback, in order to avoid this financial predicament. The goal of the NFL is to field the best product possible and since Quarterback salaries today are currently prohibiting teams from fielding that product, it would be in the best interest of the NFL to begin working on setting a maximum salary cap per POSITION rather than per roster. 

Overall, the general concept that the Quarterback is the end all, be all of team success is a flawed one. As history has shown, the best way to successfully build a championship team has nothing to do with substantially overpaying one player on a team, but diversifying and more efficiently distributing money to all positions on the roster.

References

Christopherson, Conner. “Do Massive Quarterback Contracts Limit Teams in the Long Run?” Sports Illustrated Kansas City Chiefs News, Analysis and More, Sports Illustrated Kansas City Chiefs News, Analysis and More, 28 Aug. 2020, http://www.si.com/nfl/chiefs/gm-report/do-massive-quarterback-contracts-limit-teams-in-the-long-run. 

DaSilva, C. (2021, February 02). Rams paid the (BIG) price for extending Jared GOFF two years early. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://theramswire.usatoday.com/2021/02/02/rams-jared-goff-extension-early-cost/

Davis, Scott. “Tom Brady Sacrificed at Least $60 Million in His Career Helping the Patriots Build Super Bowl-Winning Rosters.” Business Insider, Business Insider, 17 Mar. 2020, http://www.businessinsider.com/tom-brady-contract-discounts-patriots-bargain-2018-7. 

Rolfe, Ben. (2021, February 20). Deshaun Watson’s contract DETAILS, salary cap impact, and bonuses. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://www.profootballnetwork.com/deshaun-watson-contract-breakdown-salary-bonuses/#:~:text=Deshaun%20Watson%20and%20the%20Houston,fourth%20year%20of%20his%20career.

Posted in carsonwentz1186, Causal Rewrite, Portfolio CarsonWentz | 1 Comment

Causal Argument – carsonwentz1186

The Illusion of the Quarterback

The ultimate goal of every sports franchise is to build a team to win a championship at all costs. It is commonly believed that the best way to do this in the NFL is to substantially overpay the best player on the team, the Quarterback, to achieve this goal. However, history has shown that this method of team building has come back to hurt teams and their championship aspirations more than it has helped them achieve that goal. Obviously, the Quarterback is the most important in football (maybe even in all of team sports), but it should also be clear by now that spending more than half of your salary budget on one player makes it all but impossible to surround him with the necessary talent he needs to be successful.

One of the most successful franchises in all of professional sports operated against this method and resulted in the longest reigning dynasty in the history of sports. This franchise was the New England Patriots and they built their roster under the belief that the Quarterback should be paid more than the other players on the roster, but that he should be willing to limit his earnings to allow the organization to surround him with the necessary talent needed to reach the “promised land” so to speak. The Quarterback who was willing to cooperate with this method was Tom Brady who is widely considered the Greatest of All Time by many of his peers and those whose careers ended in a Hall of Fame induction. Scott Davis, a writer for Business Insider, wrote a piece detailing just how Brady negotiated his contracts allowing the Patriots to successfully build the team around him. The article revealed that Brady “sacrificed at least $60 million throughout his career, and maybe as much as $100 million” which resulted in 6 super bowl winning rosters being built around the future Hall of Famer. Now, that may not sound like a lot of money when talking about a man who has been in the NFL for now 21 seasons, but that money given up through his frequent restructures allowed the Patriots to divert their funds to positions of need for team success, such as the signings of key players such as Rob Gronkowski ,Stephon Gilmore, and Julian Edelman.

The 2013 Seattle Seahawks were another team who defied the belief of the Quarterback being the key to team success. This Seahawks team was by all accounts led by their defense dubbed the “legion of boom” for their heavy hitting and lockdown defense displayed on a weekly basis. Something to take notice of with this team was the Quarterback, Russell Wilson, was still under a mid-round rookie contract worth just $526,000 in the 2013 season, per Bleacher Report’s Ty Schalter, which ultimately allowed the team to go out and sign multiple big name free agents along the defensive line which was a big reason for the team’s success that season. The cap flexibility created by the Quarterback being under a ‘cheap’ contract by NFL standards today also allowed the team to bite the bullet on some big misses such as the contract given to receiver Percy Harvin worth $64 million over a six year span. Harvin only played one complete game for the entire 2013 season: the Super Bowl.

This method is something the NFL franchises and Quarterbacks of today have yet to firmly grasp and understand. In today’s NFL, there are substantially large Quarterback contracts being handed out year after year, each one bigger than the last. Over the past three seasons, there have been 5 contracts given out to Quarterbacks that were worth $130 million or more. 3 of which being Carson Wentz, Jared Goff, and Deshaun Watson are currently not on that team’s roster today or are trying to find a way out of the organization. Both Carson Wentz and Jared Goff for this upcoming season will still cost their former team $22 and $34 million this upcoming season. These two situations alone should be enough to why paying a Quarterback massive amounts of money to win is a flawed concept as now both the Eagles and Rams are paying their former Quarterbacks substantial amounts of money to play for other teams in 2021. Deshaun Watson, currently of the Houston Texans, just recently signed a 4-year $156M contract right before the start of the 2020 NFL season. Less than 3 months after signing that contract, because of creative differences between him and the organization, he formally requested a trade because things were not going as he believed they should. It is not yet decided on whether or not he will be traded by the organization, but if he is indeed traded, a crippling salary cap hit will more than likely follow which would handicap the team from building the roster any further while also losing their Quarterback.

Just recently, the Dallas Cowboys completed a 2 year negotiation process with their Quarterback Dak Prescott. The final agreement was a 4 year deal worth $160M, which will pay Prescott a staggering $70M total for the upcoming 2021 season with signing bonuses included, per Nick Shook of NFL.com. Around the same time the Texans signed Deshaun Watson, the Kansas City Chiefs signed Patrick Mahomes to a whopping 10 year contract worth $450M, averaging out to a $45M per year salary cap hit. Both of these contract extensions will come into effect this upcoming season, so over the next 4 seasons or more we will see if the Cowboys and Chiefs will be the latest casualties to the belief that paying a Quarterback the world will result in championships.

Overall, the general concept that the Quarterback is the end all, be all of team success is a flawed one. As history has shown, the best way to successfully build a championship team has nothing to do with substantially overpaying one player on a team, but diversifying and more efficiently distributing money to all positions on the roster.

References

Christopherson, Conner. “Do Massive Quarterback Contracts Limit Teams in the Long Run?” Sports Illustrated Kansas City Chiefs News, Analysis and More, Sports Illustrated Kansas City Chiefs News, Analysis and More, 28 Aug. 2020, http://www.si.com/nfl/chiefs/gm-report/do-massive-quarterback-contracts-limit-teams-in-the-long-run. 

DaSilva, C. (2021, February 02). Rams paid the (BIG) price for extending Jared GOFF two years early. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://theramswire.usatoday.com/2021/02/02/rams-jared-goff-extension-early-cost/

Davis, Scott. “Tom Brady Sacrificed at Least $60 Million in His Career Helping the Patriots Build Super Bowl-Winning Rosters.” Business Insider, Business Insider, 17 Mar. 2020, http://www.businessinsider.com/tom-brady-contract-discounts-patriots-bargain-2018-7. 

Rolfe, Ben. (2021, February 20). Deshaun Watson’s contract DETAILS, salary cap impact, and bonuses. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://www.profootballnetwork.com/deshaun-watson-contract-breakdown-salary-bonuses/#:~:text=Deshaun%20Watson%20and%20the%20Houston,fourth%20year%20of%20his%20career.

Shook, Nick. (2021, March 09). Dak Prescott, Cowboys agree to 4-year, $160m contract. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://www.nfl.com/news/dak-prescott-cowboys-agree-to-new-contract

Posted in carsonwentz1186, Causal Argument, Portfolio CarsonWentz | Leave a comment

Causal Rewrite – iwantpopsicle

The Stigma of Borderline Personality Disorder

Despite how cruel the stigma of this mental health affliction is, it doesn’t exist for no reason. People with BPD are admittedly uncontrollably troublesome, incessant, and hard to control. The frequency of their suicide attempts is often seen as attention seeking, and people hospitalized from their BPD are often discharged faster than any other group of patients in a hospital. (Sheehan 2016) This is because of their emotionally extreme and outrageous behaviors.

Those with BPD have a lot on their plate, as we already know. They can’t control their emotional responses nearly as well as an average person, and their moods never settle to a stable position for very long. They have to hide their diagnosis out of fear of people finding out and labelling them crazy, or distancing themselves from them. With a constantly cluttered mind and dysregulated emotions, they are like a time bomb waiting to explode any second into impulsive behaviors galore. 

We see insanely high rates of hospitalization from this group of mental health patients. They make up 9% of all psychiatric emergency room visits in the US. (Hong 2016) Despite being stigmatized, these individuals still seek the care of emergency providers. It may seem counterproductive to do this, but the answer is depressing, but unfortunately true. These people have absolutely nowhere else to go when they NEED help. The critical emotional state that BPD sufferers are internally capable of reaching is very dangerous. While in this state, they can and will make very impulsive decisions. This can include sex, rampant drug use, or even attempted suicide. They can’t be trusted to be left alone. For this very reason, they need to be observed, protected, and controlled for the time that they are hospitalized. This makes the stigma they receive almost unavoidable, which makes a double edged sword: Go to the ER to protect your own life while being treated like a nuisance, or stay home and risk hurting yourself or even others.

One of the reasons that ER staff become so irritated, annoyed, and tired of borderline personality disorder patients is due to the frequency of visits, comorbidity of symptoms, and their attitudes. According to Victor Hong MD’s journal Borderline Personality Disorder in the Emergency Department: Good Psychiatric Management, “High rates of comorbidity (mood disorders, anxiety disorders, substance use disorders, and eating disorders) among BPD patients further complicate matters. BPD patients are often advised to visit the ED when in crisis and when safety is in question, but experiences in the ED can damage the patient and undermine treatment progress.” BPD related visits often end up becoming seriously complicated due to either misdiagnosis, or other conditions presenting themselves. BPD sufferers often present symptoms of various other mental health conditions. This includes Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Chronic Depression, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This can make treatment and diagnosis very tricky and complicated for doctors.

BPD patients are also very frequently showing up to the ER. BPD remains one of the most common hospitalized mental health conditions. Those with BPD have a very hard time functioning on their own, and need to rely on emergency services when they need it. Symptoms of BPD fluctuate in severity from patient to patient, but anyone who is previously untreated is going to have much more intense and prevalent symptoms than someone who has been in therapy before.

In author Cameron Hancock’s article The Stigma Associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, he claims “Individuals experiencing BPD are also frequently labeled as “treatment resistant” and dropped as patients. But when this happens, it reinforces the common misconception that reaching out for help is hopeless. It can also intensify symptoms that caused an individual to seek help in the first place…” Knowing this, it makes it no surprise that sufferers keep coming back for more. BPD patients go to the emergency room when it is absolutely necessary for their survival. This means that they are in an emotionally vulnerable state in every single way possible. They already have a hard time communicating when they aren’t even necessarily in crisis, so this is magnified by a considerable amount when they are barely hanging on to their lives. This can make it very difficult for doctors to help them, as they might try and refuse help from the doctor. At some point, the effort might seem meaningless or futile to a doctor and he/she may just give up on the patient. “The emotional dysregulation and hypochondriasis so common in BPD patients can lead to hostility and dysregulation in their mental health providers. The often inadequate interview spaces, lack of appropriate disposition options, and limited time with which to assess patients in the psychiatric ED only heighten the tension.” (Hong 2016) Doctors can also end up even being hostile towards patients. Not only is the BPD patient feeling potentially hostile, but this can spark that behavior in the doctor out of pure frustration. This dynamic can be very dangerous physically, mentally, and emotionally. From this situation, the displayed behaviors from the patient will only escalate further and further. In their most critical time, they are expecting to be given tender and gentle care to help get them back to health. When a doctor responds in such a hostile manner, it can seriously damage the patient’s ability and willingness to continue with the given care.

Even if this is wrong from a professional or moral perspective, it does make sense. Possibly the worst part of these situations is that it just reinforces the BPD sufferer’s distorted worldview of perceived abandonment, making them even harder to treat in the future. This cycle continues to repeat, doctor after doctor, until the person in question has absolutely no idea of where to go from there. With clear causes identified as to why BPD patients are stigmatized, we may be able to begin to help both doctors and patients find a healthy middle ground when it comes to treatment.

Works Cited

Hong, V. (n.d.). Borderline Personality Disorder in the Emergency Department: Good Psychiatric Management. BPDcommunity. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://www.bpdcommunity.com.au/static/uploads/files/2016-bpd-in-the-emergency-dept-wfouhjdgxack.pdf.

Sheehan, L., Nieweglowski, K., & Corrigan, P. (n.d.). The Stigma of Personality Disorders. BPDcommunity. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://www.bpdcommunity.com.au/static/uploads/files/2016-sheehan-the-stigma-of-pds-wfcdbbajayss.pdf.

The Stigma Associated with Borderline Personality Disorder. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/June-2017/The-Stigma-Associated-with-Borderline-Personality

Posted in Causal Rewrite, iwantpopsicle, Portfolio IWantPopsicle | 2 Comments

Causal – iwantpopsicle

The Stigma of Borderline Personality Disorder

Despite how cruel the stigma of this mental health affliction is, it doesn’t exist for no reason. People with BPD are admittedly uncontrollably troublesome, incessant, and hard to control. The frequency of their suicide attempts is often seen as attention seeking, and people hospitalized from their BPD are often discharged faster than any other group of patients in a hospital. (Sheehan 2016) This is because of their emotionally extreme and outrageous behaviors.

Those with BPD have a lot on their plate, as we already know. They can’t control their emotional responses nearly as well as an average person, and their moods never settle to a stable position for very long. They have to hide their diagnosis out of fear of people finding out and labelling them crazy, or distancing themselves from them. With a constantly cluttered mind and dysregulated emotions, they are like a time bomb waiting to explode any second into impulsive behaviors galore. 

We see insanely high rates of hospitalization from this group of mental health patients. They make up 9% of all psychiatric emergency room visits in the US. (Hong 2016) Despite being stigmatized, these individuals still seek the care of emergency providers. It may seem counterproductive to do this, but the answer is depressing, but unfortunately true. These people have absolutely nowhere else to go when they NEED help. The critical emotional state that BPD sufferers are internally capable of reaching is very dangerous. While in this state, they can and will make very impulsive decisions. This can include sex, rampant drug use, or even attempted suicide. They can’t be trusted to be left alone. For this very reason, they need to be observed, protected, and controlled for the time that they are hospitalized. This makes the stigma they receive almost unavoidable, which makes a double edged sword: Go to the ER to protect your own life while being treated like a nuisance, or stay home and risk hurting yourself or even others.

One of the reasons that ER staff become so irritated, annoyed, and tired of borderline personality disorder patients is due to the frequency of visits, comorbidity of symptoms, and their attitudes. According to Victor Hong MD’s journal Borderline Personality Disorder in the Emergency Department: Good Psychiatric Management, “High rates of comorbidity (mood disorders, anxiety disorders, substance use disorders, and eating disor- ders) among BPD patients further complicate matters. BPD patients are often advised to visit the ED when in crisis and when safety is in question, but experiences in the ED can dam- age the patient and undermine treatment progress.” BPD related visits often end up becoming seriously complicated due to either misdiagnosis, or other conditions presenting themselves. BPD sufferers often present symptoms of various other mental health conditions. This includes Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Chronic Depression, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This can make treatment and diagnosis very tricky and complicated for doctors.

BPD patients are also very frequently showing up to the ER. BPD remains one of the most common hospitalized mental health conditions. Those with BPD have a very hard time functioning on their own, and need to rely on emergency services when they need it. Symptoms of BPD fluctuate in severity from patient to patient, but anyone who is previously untreated is going to have much more intense and prevalent symptoms than someone who has been in therapy before.

In author Cameron Hancock’s article The Stigma Associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, he claims “Individuals experiencing BPD are also frequently labeled as “treatment resistant” and dropped as patients. But when this happens, it reinforces the common misconception that reaching out for help is hopeless. It can also intensify symptoms that caused an individual to seek help in the first place…” Knowing this, it makes it no surprise that sufferers keep coming back for more. BPD patients go to the emergency room when it is absolutely necessary for their survival. This means that they are in an emotionally vulnerable state in every single way possible. They already have a hard time communicating when they aren’t even necessarily in crisis, so this is magnified by a considerable amount when they are barely hanging on to their lives. This can make it very difficult for doctors to help them, as they might try and refuse help from the doctor. At some point, the effort might seem meaningless or futile to a doctor and he/she may just give up on the patient. “The emotional dysregulation and hypochondriasis so com- mon in BPD patients can lead to hostility and dysregulation in their mental health providers. The often inadequate in- terview spaces, lack of appropriate disposition options, and limited time with which to assess patients in the psychiatric ED only heighten the tension.” (Hong 2016) Doctors can also end up even being hostile towards patients. Not only is the BPD patient feeling potentially hostile, but this can spark that behavior in the doctor out of pure frustration. This dynamic can be very dangerous physically, mentally, and emotionally. From this situation, the displayed behaviors from the patient will only escalate further and further. In their most critical time, they are expecting to be given tender and gentle care to help get them back to health. When a doctor responds in such a hostile manner, it can seriously damage the patient’s ability and willingness to continue with the given care.

Even if this is wrong from a professional or moral perspective, it does make sense. Possibly the worst part of these situations is that it just reinforces the BPD sufferer’s distorted worldview of perceived abandonment, making them even harder to treat in the future. This cycle continues to repeat, doctor after doctor, until the person in question has absolutely no idea of where to go from there. With clear causes identified as to why BPD patients are stigmatized, we may be able to begin to help both doctors and patients find a healthy middle ground when it comes to treatment.

Works Cited

Hong, V. (n.d.). Borderline Personality Disorder in the Emergency Department: Good Psychiatric Management. BPDcommunity. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://www.bpdcommunity.com.au/static/uploads/files/2016-bpd-in-the-emergency-dept-wfouhjdgxack.pdf.

Sheehan, L., Nieweglowski, K., & Corrigan, P. (n.d.). The Stigma of Personality Disorders. BPDcommunity. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://www.bpdcommunity.com.au/static/uploads/files/2016-sheehan-the-stigma-of-pds-wfcdbbajayss.pdf.

The Stigma Associated with Borderline Personality Disorder. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/June-2017/The-Stigma-Associated-with-Borderline-Personality

Posted in Causal Argument, iwantpopsicle, Portfolio IWantPopsicle | Leave a comment

Robust Verbs- person345

Vancouver is facing a huge problem with heroin addicts committing felonies to reinforce their addictions. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything in its power to prevent addicts from committing any type of crime. The issue is that Vancouver’s crime rate is increasing because of this. It is evident that addicts struggle in their daily lives and regular things like jobs, social interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of their addiction. Heroin users will do whatever they can to make their lives more tolerable by committing crimes such breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no boundaries as to where addicts will go to continue their addiction. The problem with the “free heroin for addicts” program is that it will not prevent addicts from using. The program is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates rather than focusing on the welfare of Heroin addicts. When Heroin is given to addicts for free, they will be off the streets, which will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. Also, users will be out of hospitals. City hospitals should not treat heroin addicts. It is pointless that the hospitals must deal with people with terrible habits. The “Free Heroin for Addicts” program offers people free heroin in the safest way possible. Sure, the city’s crime rate will decrease but in turn, this will promote the use of heroin and the drug epidemic would continue in Vancouver.

Posted in person345, Robust Verbs | Leave a comment

The ROBUST VERBS Exercise Modeled

One of your classmates has submitted a set of revisions for the “Robust Verbs” paragraph. It contains some good work, but also neglects a substantial number of available improvements.

Consider this post an example of the sort of advice you might have received if I were doing feedback on all your posts. It will be very thorough—and probably seem completely over the top—since I will have to do only one.

You may want to return to your own Robust Verbs post for revisions after you see this. I won’t grade them individually, but they’ll become part of your Non-Portfolio collection at the end of the semester. Be radical. It’s just one paragraph, but it can be an extraordinary paragraph.

I’ll respond to the post sentence by sentence:


Vancouver faces a huge problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

—Faces is a pretty robust verb (better than is for sure), but it could be stronger to describe a town struggling with heroin addiction and crime. 
—Scan your work always for double-tells. First you say there’s a problem; then you say what the problem is. First you say there are several advantages; then you name the advantages. Here the double-tell is 1) faces a huge problem; 2) addicts committing crimes.
—What’s the solution? If “addicts committing crimes” is an obvious problem, you don’t have to call it one.
—What’s the real SUBJECT of the sentence? Vancouver? Addicts? Crime? Vancouverites?
—What are the robust VERBS that address those subjects?:
—POSSIBLE SUBJECT/VERB PAIR: Vancouver is suffering a crime surge.
—POSSIBLE SUBJECT/VERB PAIR: Heroin addicts are devastating Vancouver. 
—POSSIBLE SUBJECT/VERB PAIR: Vancouver residents are threatened.
—The strongest candidate is Crime. It’s a huge problem if there’s enough of it. But what kind of crime is the issue here? “Crimes to support their habits” says the original. Those would be property crimes: burglary, robbery, breaking-and-entering, muggings. 
—And who cares about property crimes? The City? Or the Residents? 

POSSIBLE REWRITE: Heroin addicts are mugging and stealing from Vancouverites in huge numbers to support their habits.


“Free heroin for addicts” is a program that has continued to do everything to stop addicts while crime rates have increased significantly due to addicts.

I had to add the verb is to this sentence. It was missing from the original.
—Continued and increased are fairly robust verbs (better than is for sure), but let’s take a close look and decide whether continuing and increasing are the best actions to describe the situation.
Doing and stopping are also represented here, but in the weaker roles of infinitives (to do, to stop), not primary verbs, weaker because of their supporting role.
—Scan your work always for needless verbs to be. Here we can easily eliminate the is by re-phrasing: The “free heroin for addicts” program has continued.
Eliminate repetition whenever possible. You’ve already said addicts are committing crimes, so you can cut “crime rates have increased significantly due to addicts.”

—What’s the real SUBJECT of the sentence? “Free heroin for addicts”? The crime rate? 
—What are the robust VERBS that address those subjects?:
—POSSIBLE SUBJECT/VERB PAIR: “Free heroin for addicts” is solving that problem.
—POSSIBLE SUBJECT/VERB PAIR: The crime rate has decreased because of “free heroin for addicts.”
—The strongest candidate is the program. It keeps addicts from mugging and robbing people (which reduces the crime rate).

POSSIBLE REWRITE: “Free heroin for addicts” is solving that problem.


It’s clear addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives.

The verbs here are is and have. Neither is robust. The gerund getting (a weaker verb form) is also used.
—What’s the real SUBJECT of the sentence?: Addicts.
—What do the addicts do?: Struggle.

POSSIBLE REWRITE: Addicts struggle to get through their days.


Activities like jobs, interactions and relationships are hard to continue solely for their using habits.

The verb here is are. The infinitive to continue (a weaker verb form) is also used. We can do better than that.
—We already know addicts are struggling with their days. And let’s use get through as a primary verb. Combining this sentence with the one before gives us: 

POSSIBLE REWRITE: Addicts struggling with addiction can’t get through the day, let alone keep a job or maintain a relationship.


Heroin users will do whatever they have to just to possess the drug.

—The verb here is do, and the sentence contains an infinitive (a weaker verb form) to possess.
—A prior sentence already says addicts are robbing and stealing to buy drugs. That’s already better than the vague “do whatever they have to.” 

POSSIBLE REWRITE: Addicts mug, burgle, and rob to support their habits. 


Breaking and entering as well with stealing are the crimes typically committed.

POSSIBLE REWRITE: Addicts mug, burgle, and rob to support their habits.


The limits are endless to where the addicts will go to retrieve the drug to feed their addiction.

POSSIBLE REWRITE: Desperate addicts mug, burgle, and rob, or worse, to support their habits.


The flaw in the program won’t help addicts stop using heroin, but instead save the city from the rising crime rate.

—Help is a pretty robust verb. Save is pretty good too. The participial using (a weaker verb form) is also used. But let’s be sure we have the subjects right.
—The subject appears to be “the flaw,” which does not appear to be identified. Whatever the flaw, it doesn’t end addiction, but it is reducing the crime rate.
—Obviously, the answer to the mystery is that NOT ENDING ADDICTION is the flaw.

POSSIBLE REWRITE: While the program does not end addiction, it is reducing  the crime rate.


By providing the drugs, the addicts will be off the streets, in all will prevent them from committing minor street crimes, and out of the hospital.

The primary verbs here are be and prevent. The participials providing and committing (a weaker verb form), are also used.
—I strongly suggested you eliminate introductory “By phrases” in the paragraph for this reason: The sentence says that THE ADDICTS PROVIDE THE DRUGS. We know they don’t, but the grammar says, “The addicts—by providing the drugs—will be off the street.” That’s just wrong.
—The other grammar error here is to attempt to combine “committing street crimes” and “out of the hospital” as objects. “Out of the hospital” isn’t an object at all.

—What’s the real SUBJECT of the sentence? It doesn’t have one. SOMEBODY is providing the drugs, but the sentence doesn’t identify WHO. I suggest the city of Vancouver.

POSSIBLE REWRITE: By providing clean heroin, the city KEEPS addicts off the street and out of the hospital, and ELIMINATES the need for them to rob and steal.


Hospitals shouldn’t have to look after drug users who choose to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles, on top of that not being able to pay for the hospital fees.

—What’s the real SUBJECT of the sentence? Hospitals? Users? Drugs? Needles? Fees?
—What are the robust VERBS that address those subjects?:
—POSSIBLE S/V PAIR: Hospitals don’t have to care for addicts.
—POSSIBLE S/V PAIR: Heroin addicts no longer clog the emergency rooms. 
—POSSIBLE S/V PAIR: Bad drugs and unsanitary needles no longer land addicts in the hospital.

—The strongest candidate is the ADDICTS, who used to buy bad drugs, use dirty needles, and clog the emergency room without being able to pay for their care. They don’t do that now.

POSSIBLE REWRITE: Heroin addicts unable to pay for their treatment no longer clog the emergency rooms with illness brought on by bad drugs and dirty needles.


“Free heroin for addicts” gives people heroin the cleanest way possible, but this act will only fix the city, not the addicts’ wellbeing.

—Gives and fix are fairly robust verbs. And the name of the program, “Free heroin for addicts,” is the right subject.
—A prior sentence has already said that “the program does not end addiction but is reducing  the crime rate.” So this sentence may not be needed at all.

POSSIBLE REWRITE: While the program does not end addiction, it is reducing  the crime rate.

Put it all together

Heroin addicts are mugging and stealing from Vancouverites in huge numbers to support their habits. “Free heroin for addicts” is solving that problem. Addicts struggle to get through their days. Addicts struggling with addiction can’t get through the day, let alone keep a job or maintain a relationship. Addicts mug, burgle, and rob to support their habits. Addicts mug, burgle, and rob to support their habits. Desperate addicts mug, burgle, and rob, or worse, to support their habits. While the program does not end addiction, it is reducing  the crime rate. By providing clean heroin, the city keeps addicts off the street and out of the hospital, and eliminates the need for them to rob and steal. Heroin addicts unable to pay for their treatment no longer clog the emergency rooms with illness brought on by bad drugs and dirty needles. While the program does not end addiction, it is reducing  the crime rate.

Eliminate the Repetitions 

Heroin addicts are mugging and stealing from Vancouverites in huge numbers to support their habits. “Free heroin for addicts” is solving that problem. Users struggling with addiction can’t get through the day, let alone keep a job or maintain a relationship.  Desperate addicts mug, burgle, and rob, or worse, to support their habits. By providing clean heroin, the city keeps addicts off the street and out of the hospital, and eliminates the need for them to rob and steal. Heroin addicts unable to pay for their treatment no longer clog the emergency rooms with illness brought on by bad drugs and dirty needles. While the program does not end addiction, it is reducing  the crime rate.

Final Polish 

While heroin addicts in large numbers have been mugging and stealing from Vancouverites for years to support their habits, a “free heroin for addicts” is solving that problem. Users struggling with addiction can’t get through the day, let alone keep a job or maintain relationships, so, to support their habits, they commit property crimes that often lead to violence. By providing them with clean heroin, the city is keeping addicts off the street and out of the hospital, and eliminating the need for them to rob and steal. Furthermore, addicts unable to pay for their treatment no longer clog the emergency rooms with illnesses brought on by bad drugs and dirty needles. While the program does not end addiction, it is reducing the crime rate, keeping Vancouverites healthier, and saving the city money.

Posted in davidbdale, writing tips | Leave a comment

Robust Verbs-Justheretopass

Vancouver faces a huge problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. “Free heroin for addicts” a program that has continued to do everything to stop addicts while crime rates have increased significantly due to addicts. It’s clear addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Activities like jobs, interactions and relationships are hard to continue solely for their using habits. Heroin users will do whatever they have to just to possess the drug. Breaking and entering as well with stealing are the crimes typically committed. The limits are endless to where the addicts will go to retrieve the drug to feed their addiction. The flaw in the program won’t help addicts stop using heroin, but instead save the city from the rising crime rate. By providing the drugs, the addicts will be off the streets, in all will prevent them from committing minor street crimes, and out of the hospital. Hospitals shouldn’t have to look after drug users who chose to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles, on top of that not being able to pay for the hospital fees. “Free heroin for addicts” gives people heroin the cleanest way possible, but this act will only fix the city, not the addicts wellbeing. 

Posted in justheretopass, Robust Verbs | Leave a comment

Robust Verbs- Icedcoffeeislife

Vancouver is facing a huge problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything it can to stop heroin users. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. Obviously, addicts have a hard time getting through their day-to-day lives. Like Jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain for them due to their addiction. These addicts will do whatever it takes to get a fix, by breaking and entering or stealing.  The downside of the program is that it won’t help get the addicts off using heroin. The program is more focused on keeping the city safe from rising crime rates. Providing heroin to addicts, will keep minor street crimes down and keep the addicts off the street. Providing heroin will also keep users out of the hospital. Hospitals should not be responsible for taking care of sick addicts, where they are using unsatanized needles and unable to pay their hospital bill. By giving individuals addicts free heroin is the cleanest way possible. At the cost of fueling heroin addicts’ addiction, the city can start to fix itself.

Posted in icedcoffeeislife, Robust Verbs | Leave a comment

Causal Argument- Thecommoncase

American Runs on Prescription Drugs

The United States of America heavily relies on prescription drug use. In fact, over 131 million adults take some type of prescription drug, which means that there is a high demand and high profit within the pharmaceutical industry. Opioids are a very popular drug that makes doctors and pharmacies large sums of money, and even though the damage from the opioid crisis has been catastrophic, it is still prescribed by doctors because they are being paid to do so by opioid manufacturers. With no other pain reliever on the market that’s as effective as opioids, the pharmaceutical industry believes that the benefits outweigh the deadly cost, and no alternative drug could ever compete. The response from the government about the opioid epidemic has been ineffective, since the crisis has only worsened with the past three decades. With Big Pharma lobbyists within the government, no research is being funded by the government to find a solution. The pharmaceutical industry refuses to consider other types of pain medication and the government’s neglect towards medical research funding caused the opioid crisis.

Opioids are used as pain-relievers, and can be prescribed by doctors for many types of physical ailments. But the United States is in the middle of an opioid epidemic, so the amount of opioid prescriptions should be decreasing or at least be heavily discouraged, but unfortunately that is not the case. In 2017, the Harvard T.H. Chan released a study titled Physicians’ opioid prescribing patterns linked to patient’s risk of long term drug use which explained how “the results suggest that differences in clinicians’ prescribing habits may be helping to fuel the opioid epidemic sweeping the United States.” Doctors are persuaded to prescribe opioids by the manufacturers who make the drug. These manufacturers are trying to make as much money as possible, and will bribe doctors to prescribe opioid medications while being well aware that people die every day due to opioid overdose. Most of these doctors are making thousands of dollars by prescribing opioids, which falsely makes them believe that there is a lot of value in the drug. The doctors are just as corrupt in this situation, and are just as responsible as the opioid manufacturers for causing the opioid epidemic, for continuing to fuel it.

Even though not every person prescribed an opioid becomes addicted, the increase in opioid use inevitably leads to an increased risk of a person succumbing to an opioid addiction. Harvard T.H. Chan’s study also revealed that, “one out of every 48 people newly prescribed an opioid will become a long term user.” Prescription opioid medications are commonly used by people who suffer from chronic pain. Manufacturers capitalize on this, and make opioid medications very expensive since people need it to function throughout the day without pain. The government only helps those who can be covered by medicaid, and has done very little to help the other thousands of people who cannot afford their medications. If people can no longer afford their medications, they might turn to more dangerous options.

The illegal drug market is equally as large as the United States’ pharmaceutical industry, and both profit off people that become addicted to opioids. People who can no longer afford a pharmaceutical medication often replace their medications with an illegal drug. Opioids act as a gateway drug to more deadly drugs like heroin when a person feels like they have no other option that can treat their pain. Heroin is the most dangerous type of opioid and is considered to be a Schedule I drug, meaning that it is not used in any type of medication and is considered highly addictive according to the DEA. Now these regular people who simply wanted to find affordable treatment are involving themselves in illegal activities with potentially dangerous drug dealers, putting themselves in more desperate situations. Even if opioid users do not turn to illegal drugs, there are other ways they can obtain the drug that will relieve their pain and cravings. Some people injure themselves enough to where they can be given pain relievers in the emergency room. A disturbing act like that shows how disorienting opioid use can be, and what lengths people will go to to relieve their cravings.

Addiction is a disease that ruins people’s lives, and the government’s handle on the opioid epidemic makes their lives worse. In an article titled, Are Substance-Use Disorders in the USA a Crime or Crisis? Restorative Justice to Reclaim Voting Rights for Disenfranchised Nonviolent Offenders, writer Tyriesa Howell states that “while many states, cities, and counties are initiating lawsuits against prescription opioid producers for their roles in the opioid epidemic, a federally responsive war on pharmaceutical opioid sales has not been initiated and physicians have only been recommended to reduce overprescribing pain medication through the use of prescription drug monitoring programs.” The government has laws in place that punishes those caught in the act of drug dealing. But putting people in jail does not help them after suffering from opioid abuse, and many people relapse once they are released. Some nonviolent drug offenders are given the option to go to a rehabilitation center, which are effective but expensive. If people had to turn to cheaper and illegal drug alternatives, then it is unlikely that rehab is affordable for them. The opioid epidemic affects more than the health of opioid users, it affects their family, their job, and their reputation. If the government made efforts to eliminate the source of the problem, opioid prescriptions, then no one would be addicted to them in the first place.

Instead of trying to find an alternative drug, the government continues to allow doctors and pharmacies to distribute drugs to people who could be using alternative pain therapy that has less damaging repercussions. Unfortunately, there is little research being done on possible alternatives. There is currently no drug within the pharmaceutical industry that has enough credibility to be a reliable source of profit, and if the industry cannot profit, then they will certainly have no interest in it.

Sources

Physicians’ opioid prescribing patterns linked to patients’ risk for long-term drug use. (2018, June 22). Retrieved March 27, 2021, from https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/press-releases/opioids-addiction-physicians/

The more opioids doctors prescribe, the more they get paid. (2019, September 16). Retrieved March 27, 2021, from https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/opioids-doctors-prescriptions-payments/

University, G. (2019, February 13). Prescription drugs. Retrieved March 28, 2021, from https://hpi.georgetown.edu/rxdrugs/#:~:text=More%20than%20131%20million%20people,and%20those%20with%20chronic%20conditions.

Tyriesa, H. H. (2019). Are substance-use disorders in the USA a crime or crisis? restorative justice to reclaim voting rights for disenfranchised nonviolent offenders. Journal of Human Rights and Social Work, 4(2), 103-107. doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.rowan.edu/10.1007/s41134-018-0069-0

Posted in Causal Argument, Portfolio TheCommonCase, thecommoncase | 2 Comments

Robust Verbs – JohnWick66

Vancouver faces a big problem with its Heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts, who are responsible for the large crime wave currently in Vancouver. Obviously the addicts struggle getting through their day to day lives. Jobs, social interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain for them. Addicts will do anything necessary to get their fix. Stealing and robbing are just two of the many crimes addicts are willing to commit. The program doesn’t help them quit but rather feeds their addiction. By providing the drug addicts won’t commit crimes to fuel their addiction, reducing crime. Along with a drop in crime, the program will keep addicts out of the hospital as well. At the sacrifice of giving addicts free heroin in the cleanest way possible, the city will start to repair itself.

Posted in johnwick66, Robust Verbs | Leave a comment