I won’t always be able to tell you why your essays don’t quite achieve the grades you want. Even after you respond well to feedback and make your essay grammatically correct, provide good sources, and make reasonable arguments, you might still not earn the highest grade. Writing beautifully is more than a matter of following rules, and you may simply require more practice or more skill than can be achieved in a single semester.

It’s also almost certain that no matter how much feedback you receive, you weren’t told: “You just don’t sound as if you know what you’re talking about,” or: “You spend so much time proving the obvious there’s no room left for new insight.” That sort of advice may never come, but it can be part of the unspoken reason your grade didn’t improve as much as you hoped.

I can offer an illustration of a difference in writing quality that might help. The first perfectly reasonable version of the following introduction consists of four unconnected declarations:

Denying same sex couples the right to marry is discriminatory. The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for gays enlisting in the army was an example of an unconstitutional rule because it took away the rights of freedom of speech and expression from the homosexual community. A majority of Americans favor gay marriage because it treats all citizens equally. Although religious groups may be against it, the government should make laws based on how the majority believes.

The second version, which has been modified to provide smooth transitions and guide the reader through a coherent argument, would warrant a higher grade:

The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for gays enlisting in the army is just one example of the discriminatory laws that deny freedom of speech and expression to the homosexual community. Overturning that wrongheaded legislation as unconstitutional was a good first step toward awarding gays the equal rights a majority of Americans favor. It’s time for our government to stand up to religious zealots who prefer discrimination and pass humane laws that grant all citizens their constitutional freedoms, such as the right to choose a spouse.

I hope the value difference is obvious, and that you prefer the second. I don’t know any better way to demonstrate the difference between essays that earn different grades. If you think this is valuable and would like to see more examples or a wider range of grade levels, leave a comment below. Thanks.