Authoritarian vs. Authoritative parents. These two types of parenting styles can affect a child in many ways. Authoritarian parents are stern and strict. So says Leslie DeJong in her Wellness Mind article titled “4 Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Kids.” “It insists on unquestioning obedience and enforces good behavior through threats, shaming, and other punishments,” “she claims.” While Authoritative parents, she continues, “responsive to the child’s emotional needs while having high standards. They set limits and are very consistent in enforcing boundaries.” Authoritarian and Authoritative parents can affect a child positively and negatively.

Authoritarian parents have absolute authority; they demand good behavior and ignore it when it occurs, and the only feedback they offer is punishment for children who fail to listen. Authoritarian parents are genuinely demanding. So says Kendra Cherry in her verywell mind article titled “8 Characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting.” “Authoritarian parents have lots of rules and may even micromanage almost every aspect of their children’s lives and behaviors, at home and in public”, “she claims.” they have way too many rules in their household that their children must follow. Authoritarian parents are hard on their children, give no emotional love to their children, deny them applause, and fail to uplift them.

Authoritarian parents won’t allow their children to make their own choices. Their whole life is basically planned out for them. In short, the children of Authoritarian parents are often both hostile to others and shy, and too often suffer depression.

Now to go into Authoritative parents. Unlike authoritarian parents, these parents listen to their children and want them to express their opinion. Authoritative parents help their children with their feelings and show them how to express it. For example, when their child is angry and starts throwing objects, they don’t only punish them but also explain to them what they are doing is wrong and teach them the right way to handle it. These types of parents consider their child’s feelings.

Having authoritarian parents could be useful in specific ways. I understand these types of parents want their child to follow their rules, but they shouldn’t be overbearing. They should look for a way to combine both Authoritarian and Authoritative parenting styles.

Authoritarian parents get precisely what they deserve: children who do everything they can to resist the control exerted from above and rebel in various, unpredictable ways, including but not limited to failing all their classes as a deliberate rebuke to their parents’ demands. That’s what Authoritarian parents expect from their children. Authoritarian parents have really high expectations from their children; they fight for their children to succeed in their field, like paying for extra tutoring for their kids and helping them study more in their own free time. My aunt is an example of an Authoritarian parent. I remember talking to my cousins, and they said their mom is really strict and doesn’t play any games when it comes to academics; there are no excuses when they receive a specific grade, and if they do receive a bad grade, they receive many backlashes, with all this, they didn’t even succeed in their field and this pressure and rules made them a little depressed, and they didn’t like what their mom chose for them.

Authoritarian parents expect their children never to follow whatever they tell them; their no discussion. Many parents choose this style, but their many reasons for it; for example, it could be because of their morals and culture or because their parents brought them up that way, and that’s the only way they know how to teach their child. It might be an endless chain, but if I trust this type of parent style, here are some of the rules that they teach. For instance, these parents think having obedience from their child is a form of love. It doesn’t matter if the child grew up wealthy or poor, Authoritarian parents will do everything in their power to help their children reach a level they envision.

In her “Authoritarian parenting style” article, Tracy Traunter stated, “Having strict rules that must be followed. Children are punished if rules are not followed. Punishment is usually harsh and punitive. It can become abusive, physically and emotionally,” “she claims.” She continues by saying that “There is typically no give and take, and will exert complete and total control over the family.” Personally, I don’t support these types of parenting styles because it’s unhealthy and can hurt a child in many ways.

I understand that these types of parents want their children to succeed but teach a child differently. There is a negative side effect to Authoritarian parents; here are some of the outcomes stated by Tracy Traunter in her “Authoritarian parenting style” article “Children are aggressive, but can also be socially inept, shy and cannot make their own decisions,” and “Children in these families have poor self-esteem, are poor judges of character, and will rebel against authority figures when they are older.” “she claims.” those children could also struggle to think for themselves when they’re older if they have been told what to do every day like this by their parents. They can also have difficulties expressing themselves to other people; this parenting type can really mess up a child mentally. Authoritarian parents’ problem is that they don’t express their feelings to their children, especially when they don’t meet their expectations, and that horrible. I understand that children have to follow the rules parents have placed in their household, but if they make a mistake, sit down and explain to them what they did like authoritative parents don’t just always punish them severely. Children can end up hating their parents later in the future.

Rachel Sawicki wrote an article describing her experience growing up as an Authoritarian parent. I know this is only one person’s experience, but she explains how she lost many companions, was in and out of relationships and didn’t enjoy spending time with her family. As she goes more into her story, she describes her mom and says that she was an Authoritarian parent and taught her everything she knows right now. She remembers always getting yelled at for small mistakes that genuinely weren’t that serious. One of the moments she vividly remembers was when she chose to dress up for dinner one night because she enjoyed dressing up and thought she would get some happy faces and flattery from everyone, but she got in trouble for not being on time for dinner by her mother.

Rachel Sawicki says in her “Personal Essay: I’m not angry, I just have authoritarian parents” “Why would you put that on before dinner? There’s no need to get dressed up. That outfit is uncalled for, go and take it off right now,” her mom only yelled at her, she didn’t receive one compliment. she continues “I cried the rest of the night.” Rachel Sawicki went more in and described her middle school days. Rachel Sawicki says in her “Personal Essay: I’m not angry, I just have authoritarian parents” “I had my phone taken away every other week” even if she made a little mistake, her mother would go through her phone and scold her for anything unrefined that she sent to her peers that were only supposed to be seen by only her and her schoolmate. During her highschool life, Rachel came out bi, and she described how hard it was for her to fit in school; Rachel Sawicki says in her “Personal Essay: I’m not angry, I just have authoritarian parents” “I was isolated from my friends and had my phone taken away for almost six months and was still heavily monitored and controlled for another six months to a year after getting it back.” Going through hose experiences made her life horrible she continues, “I was extremely suicidal and wanted to run away. Not once did my mom ever ask me why I felt the way I did nor did she listen when I tried to explain. I was wrong and she was right, end of story”. She never wanted to go to therapy because she thought it was a form of torture her mom wanted to do to her. This story by Rachel Sawicki is an example of the negative side effects of having an authoritarian parent. This type of parenting can lead children to be depressed and have social anxiety and destroy their future.

Authoritarian parenting has some negative side effects like depression and social anxiety-like in my previous paragraph and their positive outcomes about Authoritarian parenting; It’s up for parents to decide how to teach their child.

Authoritarian parents are described as stern and the plain appositive of an alternative parent. An Authoritarian parent has multiple rules, and they ignore their child’s feelings and don’t care about their opinion. It may sound horrible to people hearing about Authoritarian parents for the first time in their lives, but don’t only dwell on the negative aspects; there are also positive aspects of an Authoritarian parent. The Authoritarian parent teaching style can create an influential, successful, wealthy person in the community. Most children who grew up with this style end up being doctors, lawyers, politicians, and more, so there are positive aspects, but it’s not easy. Jeff Nalin says, “But often, this comes at a cost.” He claims, “children whose behavior is largely dependent on a strict regimen of dos and don’ts will base their own self-worth on whether or not they have obeyed the rules put into place by their parents,” because the child might get punished.

Many individuals worldwide have grown up with Authoritarian parents, and many people say that type of parental style can mess up a child’s life; teaching children this way can lead to depression, social anxiety, and more. Growing up with this type of parenting, children will resent their parents when they’re older and hate them for not listening or helping emotionally throughout their childhood, but having an Authoritarian parent can help a lot throughout a kid’s childhood and prepare for the harsh relate of being an adult. Authoritarian parents can help children succeed in the field they’re going after; these parents will push children to be their better selves, but they’re a chance these children can also fail. The pressure they put on a child can break them.

One of the positive aspects of having Authoritarian parents is that children know good behavior. So says an expert Naline in Christin Perry’s “Authoritarian Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist” article, “They are also highly attuned to the negative consequences that can stem from wrong behavior, so they will avoid stepping out of line.” Having good behavior has a chance of making many good habits that positively affect their life. Good behavior will help a child make routines. For example, every day, they wake up, clean their room, make their bed, and do their homework; also, children will respect other individuals when they’re talking to them. A child’s positive behavior continues to show can affect everyone around them, which’s a good thing. Another good reason for having an Authoritarian parent is the want to do the right thing. So says family parenting in their “The Pros and Cons of Authoritarian Parenting” article “The authoritarian style of parenting will encourage a child to think about their behavior, before doing it. This means the child has a desire to do right and will be better at thinking through their actions before making a choice to do it”. This can make a child bolder in the future and help with their decision throughout their life.

Safety is another positive trait when learning from an Authoritarian Parent; I mean, they would try to minimize danger in their life. The threat children might face throughout their childhood. Authoritarian Parents plan out a promising future for their kids, find a career where they will succeed, and teach them everything in that field to be one of the best when their child joins the working class. Another positive trait that an Authoritarian Parent leads is fighting for the goal, future. So says an expert Naline in Christin Perry’s “Authoritarian Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist” article, “Children raised by authoritarian parents adhere to detailed plans that include precise instructions.” Teaching this to their kids helps them grasp what steps they need to take throughout their lives to reach their destination.

I know that the Authoritarian parent’s style has many significant aspects that can help children, but some adverse effects can damage children mentally and physically. For a child to have a genuinely productive childhood and prepare them for the outside world, more than one parenting style is better. I believe combining Authoritarian parent’s styles and Authoritative parents will balance a child out and bring the most satisfaction on both ends. Authoritative parents talk to their children. So says the parenting for brain article. It’s like a “give-and-take” scenario with rules that can be adjusted. If their child breaks the rule, Authoritative parents don’t punish straight away but explain to them what they did was wrong and show them want to do. Authoritative parents should help their children with their decision so that they can become wiser. Authoritarian parents and Authoritative parents both want a level of control over their child’s behavior/activities. Authoritarian parents believe they are always right and never wrong, but Authoritative parents know they make mistakes and correct themselves. Authoritarian parents shouldn’t control their children. If they do this, their child will fight them; it can become a toxic environment, and children can end up resenting their parents and hating them for the rest of their lives, and no parents want that.

If a parent can combine these two teaching styles into their child, the environment will be better, less fighting, decrease depression, anxiety, help their self-esteem. They will build a stronger connection, and that’s what parents want with their child a bond. When children are in trouble, they’ll come to their parents for help and advice than anyone else because of their connection and are willing to listen and not only punish them; don’t pick one type of parenting style; balance them out. So says Kenda Cheery in her “Authoritative Parenting Characteristics and Effects,” “Try not to be too harsh nor too lenient; you can start by letting your child make more decisions, but also have regular discussions about those choices. With time, attention, and flexibility to your child’s needs”. Both these parenting styles have positive and negative effects, and it’s the parent’s choice to either pick one of them or combine them.

References

Cherry, Kendra. “What Is Authoritarian Parenting?” Verywell Mind, www.verywellmind.com/what-is-authoritarian-parenting-2794955. 

Amy Morin, LCSW. “Strategies That Will Help You Become More Authoritative to Your Kids.” Verywell Family, 26 Oct. 2020, www.verywellfamily.com/ways-to-become-a-more-authoritative-parent-4136329. 

“Authoritarian Parenting: What Happens to the Kids?” Parenting Science – The Science of Child-Rearing and Child Development, www.parentingscience.com/authoritarian-parenting.html. 

Li, Pamela. “What Is Authoritative Parenting? [With Examples].” Parenting For Brain, 29 Oct. 2020, www.parentingforbrain.com/authoritative-parenting/.

“4 Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Kids.” Wellness Mind, 14 July 2019, wellnessmind.org/4-types-of-parenting-styles/.  

Tracy Trautner, Michigan State University Extension. “Authoritarian Parenting Style.” MSU Extension, 20 Sept. 2018, www.canr.msu.edu/news/authoritarian_parenting_style. 

Sawicki, Rachel. “Personal Essay: I’m Not Angry, I Just Have Authoritarian Parents.” The Review, 5 Mar. 2020, udreview.com/personal-essay-im-not-angry-i-just-have-authoritarian-parents/. 

Christin Perry December 06, and Christin Perry. “Authoritarian Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist.” Parents, 6 Dec. 2019, www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/authoritarian-parenting-the-pros-and-cons-according-to-a-child-psychologist/. 

Stephney, Shonette. The Effects of Rewarding Positive Behavior in Children, Ministry of Education, Guyana, 2 Nov. 2015, www.education.gov.gy/web/index.php/parenting-tips/item/1785-the-effects-of-rewarding-positive-behavior-in-children. 

“The Pros and Cons of Authoritarian Parenting.” Blessed Learners, 20 Sept. 2018, www.blessedlearners.com/pros-and-cons-of-authoritarian-parenting/. 

Li, Author Pamela. “Authoritative vs Authoritarian Parenting Styles [Infographic].” Parenting For Brain, 29 Oct. 2020, www.parentingforbrain.com/authoritative-vs-authoritarian-parenting/. 

Cherry, Kendra. “Do You Have an Authoritative Parenting Style?” Verywell Mind, 17 Sept. 2020, www.verywellmind.com/what-is-authoritative-parenting-2794956.